Meaningless rantings of a cabin fevered Mom.

This past Sunday, I stood in church. Our church is big church in a metro area, it's a multi-site church, and this past week was our first time in our new local building. A gigantic, new, multi-media, state-of-the-art, BIG building. As we stood, in awe of the industrial design, the new tech, the light-show, the number of people, the music, it was the music that brought me about, and took me to a far away place.   We sang and old hymn, one reason i love this church so, they respect the way we grew up, they respect "The old ways" and they dovetail it into this new age. Keeping the important messages and making them fresh and new, and helping us to see new things in the sometimes tired feeling tunes and words. On this day we sang "It is well with my soul", one of my all time favorite hymns. it was this song that took me on a trip.    I was suddenly in a smaller building, the basement, a dusty, echoing, wooden public hall. I am small, in a calico dress made by my t...

I never wanted to run,  I never liked to run,  I never felt a need to run Some of my worst night sweats are induced by dreams of not reaching a goal, or getting out of a situation, or not being able to save someone, due to an inability to run. Running has never been important, or noteworthy, or even contemplated. I actually wanted to run from the very idea of it (puny i know) Now, I love to run, I itch to run, I ache from not running I crave the rush, the sore feet, and the flushed face. I crave the quiet, of the crisp air passing by my headphones. The rhythmic clap of my sneakers on the pavement while Bono and Adam Levine Sing me to the next mile. Sometimes i wonder when the change happened. How is it possible that this is now my go-to stress relief? How in the world did we get to a point where I, Sara Doenges, choose a run over a date with Jillian Michaels' Shred video?  I figured it out. When I was young, living in Rural New England, my sport...

         Once in a while, a child is conceived who is so frail, and innocent, and heavenly perfect, God cannot let it be exposed to the evil of this world.         It is in these precious, tiny miracles that we see glimpses of heaven. It is in these dark, soul searching times of grief, that we taste God's mercy. In the veil of tears, as we ask the "why", we know, this child will be loved, sitting atop the very lap of God. Our questions turn from, "Why this pain?" to, "Why does He love us so much that He would give us this glimpse of Heaven?" "Why does He even care about my soul?"       He is the giver, He is the time keeper, He is the great Physician.      With these facts in place, we can gaze into the still face of this child, whom we wanted so badly, we weep, and we can say.. "Thank you for this moment" (SED)  ***This was written from a real place of pain, from a moment in ...

Last night, as i laid in bed, I looked up into the sky, and saw a single twinkling star. I immediately thought of Peter Pan, probably because I'm still reeling from the death of one of my favorite actors, but honestly, every time I stop long enough to actually LOOK at a star, the first thing i think is, "second star to the right.." in his voice. I am sad, so terribly sad that he is gone, his genius, his light, his honesty. I will work hard to be sure my kids see his work, and hear his messages in his movies. I want my kids to be able to laugh at themselves, Robin Williams taught me how to do that, I hope I can teach them as well. The part that makes me the saddest, is that he was in pain. This disease he battled, of depression, it is an evil bitch. It chews up it's victims, and it is so very hard to get out unscathed. Two comments on Facebook made me think long and hard, and I just wanted to say some words, from my own experience. The first was, "Why do the ...

Sorry if that offends you, you should probably leave now then.  I'm tired, tired of "mom battles" of grown up high schoolers , of cliques, of ignorance. It exhausts me. None of it has a place in a well balanced, meaningful, grown up life.  I am not saying I'm old. I'm the youngest nearly 40 yr old person I know. But I'm an adult, I have real shit to deal with, I am terribly sorry if my schedule doesn't give you time to add chaos and more crazy to my life.  Seriously. Yes, I am being slightly obtuse, but blatant at the same time. I'm me, I was taught by a southern gentleman to be polite but for the love of all that is right, DO NOT be a door mat to other peoples stupidity.  So anyway. I deal with this waaaaay too often now that I live in suburbia, and have relationships with sports parents and school people and it's exhausting.  I said all that to say,  Dude. I'm exhausted. 

Can we just talk about Valentines? Seriously, UGH! The whole process looses it's charm when they are so stinkin expensive, and you can't make them for much cheaper, even if you kids were ok with being the ONE kid in the classroom with no pop character or candy, or tattoo, or sticker on theirs. You have to have one card for each kid in class, because we live in the age of, 'life isn't fair so we will bend over backwards to make sure you never know that until it's too late", and to be sure you don't miss anyone, you get a class list sent home to you at the beginning of the month. THANK YOU teachers! They obviously know their students, and that poor mom CANNOT rely on the child's memory to get every name in the room, and spelling, well, these days, that's a whole other post. Ok, buying, now we know how many, lets shop! I shop alone, no kids, my son is now 10, in 3rd grade, and thats how long it took me to get that part right. Yes, the idea of let...

My son is 10 now, and hungry, endlessly hungry. This is made evident by the way he continuously chatters on and on about how he is starving, how that last snack, that 5th one, it wasn't quite enough, and its only 5pm, how long must we wait for dinner!?!? Today i went on my bi-weekly "big shop" and tried in vain to stop this abuse my child is suffering under (yes, that was a joke, it's a first world problem, I am aware, relax people ... finish you chai tea) I walk through the store filling my cart to the brim, thinking, people must think I have a gaggle of munchkins at home, not two pre teens ..... (whoa ... pre-what's?!  *pauses for coffee*) Thankfully, I shop at Aldi, if you have one, USE IT! If not, i'm sorry, it really IS a lifesaver! The other saving grace is my son's aversion to high sugar content, Food Dye. Oh don't get me wrong, HE LOVES it, his body, however, is not overly fond of it. His attention span is reduced to that of a .......wait wh...

Pardon me for being redundant ...... but ...... remember this?!?!?! Say Wha Princess?? Yeeeeah, well, we are entering our second year of football / cheer. Thankfully my son is LOVING football, He wants to be Clay Matthews ..... hey, you gotta have a dream right?  Our team is back, and getting better and ready to take on the year with new energy. Aaaaaand, cheer ..... Samantha is cheering for the State Champs! The Undefeated WOJFC Bantam Champs of 2012. Ya, pretty amazing year last year! Somehow we were cut short on practices this year, and somehow, I .... me.... mommy...Yubby ..... am helping my daughter to learn her routine for Halftime. Yes, you read that correctly, it means what you think it means ...... I am actually DOING the routine, and naming the moves, High Vee, Broken Tee, shimmy shimmy, low Vee. yup, I'm doing that. I am also painting my toe nails in the car, so I don't show up with the wrong color on my feet, I am gluing glittery letters on her bucket so it ...

so, I have to make this quick, because, I have to go to football practice soon, which is really another entry all together, oh wait I think i already wrote that one .... It's been an odd 24 hours, it started last night when i walked downstairs, and found my children ...... wait for it .... sweeping the floor! TOGETHER! o.0 I actually called up to the hubs to double check the time and date, you know, in case I had somehow gotten zapped into an alternative universe or something ......... i still don't know WHY they were, i just smiled, said "WOW! Thanks!" and walked back up stairs ..... secretly wondering/ hoping that the dishes were next, hahah I so funny. Today ends my odd 24 hrs with the discovery of a heart shaped box of beads .....(probably stuffed away in my closet to get it away from a small toddler who would have tried to make "pretties" but would have only succeeding in giving mommy a reason to vacuum the bedrooms AGAIN. ) ...what's...

A little ditty I wrote last year, as we begin a new year, I have chills thinking about the fun ahead of us :) Football Fall October 21, 2012 at 4:26pm Public Friends Friends except Acquaintances Only Me Custom Close Friends Playa's See all lists... Football Gamers Vermonsters Boys POF PCP Limited Profile FUNfriends Family Church Lebanon, Ohio Area Family Island Paradise Old School Pharmaceutical Research Associates The Pampered Chef Grace Academy Grace Academy The Doenges Den Sears Acquaintances Go Back It's still a little too dark, and a little too early for being awake on a sunday morning. Uniforms are hanging, freshly laundered Maroon and Black with crisp white numbers and sparkling silver trim, there are pads and cleats, and cheer sneakers to lace up. Water jugs to fill, breakfast to grab and go, a truck to warm up and Caffeine to locate. A quick drive across town as the sky lights up, as we park the truck and see other families starting to arr...

March! Today I am sitting still. In anticipation of a very busy few weeks ahead. Tomorrow I officially throw my hat in for the Vermont Tough Mudder on Mt. Snow August 10th. Hubs and I will run it together, with a bunch of other siblings and friends. I am SUPER excited to do it one more time. Pretty sure I will be done with them after this, but who knows, I may get the urge again one day.  March 11th, my Dad goes into surgery for double knee replacement. It sounds so scary! I am really excited though, I know he will heal fast, and to see him mobile again will be awesome! it's hard to see someone so active so inhibited by pain.  Also, hubs will undergo Chemo. it's scary, but it's the last step to be sure it's all gone. He was diagnosed with testicular cancer in early Dec. He had surgery, had the tumor removed, and all his scans and tests come back free and clear. This last step is just to make sure nothing comes back. It's the best option, so here we go. I...

In reading my past posts, i am so sad to see how old my kids have gotten! On a lighter note, Twelve days of Christmas by john Denver and the Muppets is playing as i type :) Christmas is coming, winter is commin'. Our life has taken a startling turn, it simplified my Christmas to-do list significantly  which is good, because i always try to do too much to make the Holiday super special and different every year. It's funny how easy it is to not worry so much about a dead string of lights, or how soon i get presents, or how many cookies i make. Just to sit, and look at the advent calendar  listen to the kids talk about what Santa is bringing, have cocoa with the first snow, and remember what is really important. My daughter is set on getting an Easy Bake oven, it's all she talks about, i asked yesterday, "what if you don't get it?" she looked at me like I just stabbed her stuffed animal ... eek ... then this morning she i...

Soo ... remember this? ... http://hagriddapig.blogspot.com/2011/11/whos-life-did-i-wake-up-in.html  ? Well, here we are in the middle of football season and I have a son playing, and a daughter cheering. Yup, me, Yubby, or Zubby ( my tiniest nieces new version of my name) I am a cheer mom. I even have two shirts that say so. My kids are LOVING it, my siblings are loving it, me being a cheer mom that it. Brats :P that's my mantle, my kiddos, aren't they cute? I have been pushed out of my comfort zone, and reside there comfortably :)

Today, as every year, we remember, and I don't even pretend anymore, I don't even try to shake the feeling, like shaking the dust off of you if you had been there. Even the dust itself is sacred. This past year I was at Ground Zero for the first time, and I am glad I saw it this way. I remember in my early 20's I visited the very spot with a group of my co-workers from a camp in northern NH. We had driven through the night to visit one girls family outside NYC, and to spend our Saturday off in the city, walking. We were poor Camp workers, not enough money to take a cab, or eat at a nice place, or even sight-see like some might. But, we had good walking shoes, time to kill, youth, and a spirit of adventure, so we walked the city, ate from food carts, one Chinese place, and even took pictures with the NYPD. We saw the towers, how big they were, and marveled at their presence, we came into the subway station under them, never imagining some...

internal Dialog while picking up after the morning pre-bus chaos......  "Where the heck is the cap to the Milk? Who on earth looses that kind of thing?" ..... "Oh, yeah ...that would be me ..." .... "wait ...... why haven't I lost one before?! That's sort of amazing ...." ... "Yay me for never loosing a milk jug cap till now!" .... -.- welcome to my brain .....

A rare look at them sharing oxygen in a friendly manner.... and then they once again proved they are indeed of my flesh and blood. :D 

Sometimes ........ everyone once in a while ... I wonder, how do they go from peppering me with questions 24-7 like I'm the encyclopedia Britannica ...... ( which I believe is now obsolete..) and then the minute I tell them a fact, or issue and order .... they question my very existence, and start talking down to me like I'm a teenager that just shoplifted. Why is it that the mornings I'm hopping out of bed ..... ( ok I NEVER HOP...but me chipper pre-10am, IS hopping ) I'm singing them out of bed, and they can't be woken even with the promise of ice cream for breakfast ...( no, we don't eat ice cream for breakfast..) I am ready to make Pancakes and muffins and bacon, and they can't even make it to the table in time to eat a bite of anything, not that they are hungry anyway. Then the days I'm barely alive and kicking, they are up, out of bed, in outfits that don't match and are inside out, inside down and backwards. Not to mention very weather inappr...

overheard this week .... Grant and his buddy ....    Grant ... "Mom, I need one of those strength bracelets, you know, Like Uncle Dominic has." Barrett ... "Special? How? Does it give you powers? Super strength? I want one!" Grant ...."Well, no, it doesn't GIVE you powers, it's just what they say so you buy them, it does look cool though .... and looking cool makes you cool, and strong, and gives you powers." **editor's note** o.0 .... that's either very deep, or very worrisome ..... or both?

Hey there, First off, Lemme splain, Haggie is a name I acquired from an online friend, don't totally remember the story, but it just stuck. YUBBY, is a nickname given to me by my younger brother David. He is 14 years younger than me, and I was more of a parent than sibling, this created a cool, weird, super strong Bond. He tried to call me "lovey" when he was very little, and it came out YUBBY, and it stuck, like crazy glue. When I met my husband, he kept calling me Sara, and it sounded so weird, my Family and friends had been calling me Yubby, or Yubs, or Yubmeister...etc. for so long, I forgot the sound of my own name. LOL! So, me, this post is about me. The year 2011 has been a breakthrough year for me. I have overcome many many many mental and physical obstacles, and I feel like, although it's taken me many years to get here, this year it all clicked, and I am a totally different person going into 2012. The first, and most obvious change, is my weight. I have batt...

Yuh, no joke dude ....... So, Thanksgiving, I just want to start by saying that DUDE, not only did it creep up on me this year, it smacked me upside the head with a cricket bat, then stomped on my comatose body while shouting through a bull horn. FALL BREAK!! Yesterday were my kids' harvest parties at school. For which i volunteered my services of course. I mean, they love it when Mom shows up in the classroom, and I have the time ..... i think ..... :P I was bringing, 2 doz cookies to Sam's party, and a Pumpkin Pie and 4 bags of candy corn to Grant's. Seems simple ya? The pumpkin pie, I already knew I would buy, I have not made one yet, and I am NOT experimenting on a classroom of kids, they don't care where I got it! I also, don't shoot me, decided last minute to BUY cookie dough. :o Do not shoot me! I don't bake .... oh wait .... hmm ... never mind, moving on. Same thought process, kids don't care, easy and fast, and yummy. Well, I was thinking there woul...