Tuesday, December 19, 2006

How bad do ya want it?

Yuh, no New Years resolution here, just an idea, and three people acting on it before it gets away.
Im talking weight loss people, getting in shape, more energy, more ability to actually play WITH our kids, not just watch and wish we were 3 again.

So my two friends and I were talking about this subject, and we were NOT ALLOWED to go home until we had all agreed on a "game plan" something, anything to get us up moving, exersizing ..... sooo .. some smart person says ..."Well the best time is early morning before hubbys go to work, before kids wake up, good way to start a day don't you think?
Um No wait! Remember me? I don't get up before sunrise unless its a VERY good reason that involves LOTS of coffee.
But alas ..... I want it ... i want that body back i used to have ... that size i used to wear ..... How bad do i want it? Bad enough to crawl out of bed at 445am ..... drive 15 minutes to my friends neighborhood ..... walk for 45 minutes, in the cold, snowing wind, with a croupy nasty cough ... Inhaler in pocket ..... thats how bad i want it ..... I think *lol* Ask me agian when i've been caffinated :P

Friday, December 08, 2006

When the Rubber hits the road

So, I have a streak of OCD in me...i'm pretty sure it's an Atkins thing, just watch my Dad pack a suitcase, or car or string lights on a tree, yup deffinately an Atkins thing. I never noticed it till i got married, and i now live with this boy, who leaves socks in the living room, shoes in odd places, and doesnt rinse the sink after brushing his teeth, oh and puts the TP on the roll the wrong way :D well i've worked on it, and the TP i let slide, because after all, isnt it true, if the man actually PUTS a new roll ON the thing thats a miracle in itself? But then, i had kids, Crumb snatchers, rugrats, call them what you will, they are MESSY! UGH My house is NEVER spotless, I like spotless, i LOVE spotless, i CRAVE spotless, but i have learned to be thankful for vaccumed, dusted and reasonable organized :)
Then, i went to make my first ever gingerbread house ...... thinking this will be a fabulous project for Grant and i to do, and he will get to use his little creative mind, and his OCD tendencies, (where DID he get those?) Well, yeah .... he did fine, but it was difficult ... for ... me ..... lines, not ..straight ..... candy not ...in rainbow order...... must be symetrical ....... ACK!
So, here is the result, my bones quiver with the crazy color patterns, and the lack of straight lines and symetry .... BUT my son beams with pride when he shows it off to his daddy and says ..."look Dad! Mommy and me build a house! With candy! And you can't eat it dad! Its for decorations!"
yeah thats worth it :)

and I DID get to do the roof myself ... which came out okay considering i had an 18mo. old pushing her highchair back and forth into my arm for half of it :P

Friday, December 01, 2006


December 1st! the real countdown begins :) I finally finished my advent calendar, im VERY happy with the results :)

every night we will put up a figure to tell the story of Christ's birth. It's so fun to think of passing it on to my kids :)

As i reflect on this time of year, i am sad to see so many people "turned off" by the holiday. I mean i know its commercialized, but what isn't? Halloween sure is! But im pretty sure wiccans and worshipers of other type gods NOT associated with my God keep that peticular holiday pure. Couldn't we do the same? Why do we have to spend the holiday begrudging those who ruin it? Why can't we be the candles in the windows, offering hope, showing others that there IS a place for CHRISTMAS and the TRUE meaning of it in this crazy mixed up rush rush rush world.
I was thinking about CHRISTMAS through the ages, and you know not alot has changed through the years, even though we like to rant and rave about how its worse every year.
Remember the old movie "Its a wonderful Life"? That was full of people with no clue, people who ignored the joy and giving spirit, one man who was confused, but his family and friends who brought him back to reality, and showed him the true meaning of the season.
What about "A CHRISTMAS Carol"? Scroodge and his Bah humbug, only celebrating CHRISTMAS for his personal gain, (oooh that sounds famiiar!) People ignoring the less fortunate, and spending time and money on themselves, ignoring the reason for the season, and then the precious few who held out for hope, hope of better days, hope of happy days, clinging to the meaning of CHRISTMAS, "love come to a world of sinners" "Grace doused on the undeserving"
What about the very first christmas? We had unbelievers, people toally ignorant of what was going on around them. A busy frustrated stressed out innkeeper who couldn't see past the end of his nose (or his purse) and notice the haggard young man and his deffinatly needy wife. What about Herod? The greedy, arrogant King who only sought to snuff out the news, the idea of a king come to earth, the idea that he may not be the center of the universe, he tried to use the men who came to worship Christ for his own gain, to carry out His agenda. (Oooh THAT sounds familiar!) Then, the Shepherds .... they heard the news, they ran, they worshiped on bended knee. They Left their obligations, sheep in the feilds, their stress, their very sleep, to go "check it out" and what did they find? "Love come to a world of sinners" "Grace doused on the undeserving" and then waht? The ran ... they ran to tell others, to spread the news. the GOOD news!
Then the wise men, they knew something was up, they left thier homes, hundresds of miles away to follow a star .... can you imagine what their wives thought? Or their friends? They left on a journey that would last maybe years? To find the king, and find him they did.... They went out of their way to seek him. To see for themselves, do you thik they ever regretted it?

Thats what i think of when i see CHRISTMAS ..... i want to be a shepherd .... i want to get up in the middle of the night, kneel in a warm smelly barn and worship the king, and then tell everyone, and hear the angels sing overhead. I want to go OUT of my WAY to make others hear, to tell other what i KNOW about the blessed holiday. Lets try it shall we? Lets be the obnoxiously happy merry deeply thankful people who celebrate CHRISTMAS for it's very simple, very important, very REAL meaning!
and ..... "God bless us, every one!"
(sorry i couldnt resist :) ...)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Because i SAID SO!!

Oi, what a horrible statement. For someone who wants to bring their children up with minds and opinions of their own, and wants their children to know God and embrace their own deep relationship with Him, and who wants their children to be imaginative, to be able to create worlds of wonder and amazement that dwell in their minds eye .......... for that person, that statement may be pure Irony ... (im sure my sister will tell me yay or nay on that point)

So WHY do i say it :P Arrrgghhh! I just want him to LISTEN ...." just DO what MOMMY says" .... thats not a whole lot better ...... how about .."Stop asking why! jUST DO IT!!" *LOL* None of it is very good grounds for imagination, or forming one's own opinions of the world .... but ... maaybe ..it will teach him to just obey, and ask later? BLEH!
Who knows .... i need coffee :P

Friday, November 24, 2006

Count your blessings, count them one by one ....

Happy Thanksgiving! Erm, well Black friday ... but whatever :P
Im eating my FAVE lunch in the whole world ..... turkey on mom's BIG yeast rools, with mayo, cranberry and stuffing ..... It's insanely yumeh!
We had a fabulous day ... spent it at my parent's house with my brother and his family, we were only missing my older brother and crew, but it was pretty crowded!
We deep fried the turkey to perfection .... got to ooh and awww over the new princess of the family, and fun was had by all
This pic is how ALL our family gatherings end, Grandpa on the floor reading stories ..... VERY cool!
..... HERE are MORE pics .... :)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Musings ....

It's possible someone reading my blog may not know that im a Writer. I mean not published or anything, but it is by far my best and favorite form of expression. Recently while cleaning up my hard drive i ran across this jewel, it made me cry *lol* So i suppose it has some sappy, nostalgic, holidayish properties to it :) Hope you enjoy.

A Spoon and a cookbook
I was sitting in a metal folding chair, tugging at the new pink skirt and double checking that the practice wedding “do” wasn’t coming undone. My cousin on one side writing down what gifts and from whom as my sister (on the other side) was handing them to me. The next one was a garment box, pretty wrapping, but to tell the truth I’ll never remember what it was wrapped in. The gift itself, well, it transported me .. to another time, another place.
It took me back to small country kitchen with red brick linoleum on the floor, and handmade café curtains at the windows. Three anxious children stood on stools and chairs, around an old decrepit dishwasher, that had been dead for a while, but was kept there for the extra counter space in the form of a butcher block. Each child gripped a cookie cutter of their own choice. Waiting while mom expertly rolled out the sugar cookie dough to the exact thickness to make perfect cookies.
I don’t remember what we cut out, how they looked, how many we made, I do however remember the smell, a mixture of cookies, evergreen from the Christmas tree, and the spicy candles mom always had going in the winter. The taste of warn fluffy sugar cookies right out of the oven, and the feeling that holiday cookies meant Christmas must be close.
Christmas wasn’t the only time of year we made cookies, our house never lacked in the baked goods department, but it was the ONLY time of year we got to pull out “The Cookie Book” It was an old Betty Crocker cookbook full of holiday cookie recipes. Dated 1978, it had cute drawings that seemed so old to us, and my favorite part was on the ginger bread cookie recipe, they showed photos of an old Betsy McCall doll making the cookies herself! Mom would tell me about how she had a doll like that when she was my age, and then explain to me every time how they got pictures of her making cookies.
We got all our holiday cookies out of that book, Pinwheel cookies, sugar cookies (with sour cream) gingerbread cookies. It was as much a part of our Christmas as a tree taller than dad, or the hand knit stockings from our Grandmother, that had our names, and were much bigger then anybody else’s stockings!
This Gift I opened was so much more than just things being handed down to me, they were to be permanent reminders in my home of what my mother tried so hard for so many years to install in my mind. Sitting in the crock on top of my stove, I am brought back every day. To the lessons taught over bread dough, about being a wife and homemaker, traditions held in a cookbook, making sure that we set up memories and traditions of our own and making sure that everyone gets in on the Holiday fun. The reminder that Precious memories can be as simple as time spent with family. Mom always tried to show me how to make a house a home. How to make a welcoming place to come back to, and how to make sure your own family feels like this kitchen is the best, warmest and safest place anyone could ever find themselves.
I stared at the wooden spoon so old and notched and dark sitting there in the bridal tissue paper, and I saw Eric stirring the chips into his “famous” cookie dough. Tying a bundle of Lipton Tea bags onto it, and draping them into a pot of boiling water to steep for a gallon sized batch of REAL homemade sweet iced tea. I saw dad stirring chili, and mom mixing the biscuit dough. I picked up the cookbook and expected flour to fall out mixed with red and green sprinkles. I ran my hand over the grease spots from 20+ years of pawing over the recipes, and children pointing to pictures with doughy fingers.
Mom had written a message inside the cover.
“To my Sweet Sara on the Occasion of marriage to Michael, May many little ones enjoy this book.” Love Mom
Then, After I started to cry, I had to hold up the ratty spoon and faded cookbook for all to see, and explain to all in the room a summary of what I just explained to you.

S.E.D. Nov. 15 2004

Monday, November 20, 2006

Driving in Buses with Teenagers

What a weekend :P To start it all off, our cable provier Adelphia, switched over to Comcast ... yay fun, BUT We lost internet for 3 days, now we also have Vonage ..VoIP ... meaning ... no internet, no phone :P Not terrible, but terribly annoying to not be able to call anyone, and email anyone ..... or check my mail, or look at my bank account :P and of course, chit chat with my friends.
I did however unearth all sorts of treasures in Rearranging many random areas of my kitchen. LOL
Friday night, we,(my hubby and I) chaperoned a teen event called superbowl. We leave at 430pm,on a large premiere bus, head to a hockey game 2 hours away ..... after the game they hold a big youth rally, where they play games and hand out prizes and throw stuff into the stands for the kids .... its fun .. then at midnight, we head back towards home an hour and stop to go bowling, and eat PILES of pizza and unending soda for several hours, then we head to a rollerrick/ laser Tag spot to top it all off. we leave the area at 6am ..... get home around 7 wait for parents to pick up kids and we all go home to crash ... but wait! we have kids! We bring my sibligns home, and pick up our kids, who are well rested and ready for the day ...... unaware that mommy and Daddy are zombies LOL.
Sunday we gathered at church for a HUGE thankgiving potluck in the afternoon. They alos held baptisms and child dedications. Twas a fun evening, but i was DEADer than DEAD when i finally was able to sit and unwind ...... OI! today we recover .... me, my house, and the kids LOL.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Migraine UGH!

shhh! Migriane city here, i can't see my self getting much done today :P UGH!
However, yesterday, i got ALOT done :) i went to see my new neice ... OH i have a NEW neice! She is SOoooo cute ... and i grocery shopped after 9pm :P i replaced the ironing board my son somehow killed *lol*

But the real accomplishment ..
i finished one set of sheets for one of my nephews. Isaac, he and his brother Aiden have the new little sister, so im making them fresh new bedding to make thier room feel new, since little sister gets all the new blankets and stuff :) I'm really happy with how it came out, they have toddler beds, so i modeled it with my daughter's crib.

I did finish a child size mitten for a neice in Washington state, however it feels too loose to me, the cuff is waay off, so im hunting another pattern. Samantha seems to be getting into the crochetting thing too, which tickles me pink :D

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Wordless Wednesday#3 .....don't think we can climb out of this one! .......

more wordless wednesdays HERE
**Breaking silence**
i found this pig the other day and had to take a picture and i must say, this is an accurate picture to explain my feelings post-election 2006 :P

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Great Pumpkins Batman!

Happy ... Tuesday! :) No i don't "Celebrate" halloween, it isnt a day or reason i care to "celebrate" BUT, i DO love seasons and festivities, and being in dressup. So, we carved a great big lovely pumpkin yesterday, My first time doing that actually, it was alot of fun, Grant LOVED the " 'cooping out the ucky messy yuck" part the best :)

My hubby's family has always celebrated Halloween, this is my last year not making a stink about it, my kids are still kinda young to go out and trick or treat, so i will dress them in thier costumes we got for our annual "Creation Celebration" at church, and they will go see MaMaw and hand out candy to the neighborhood ghouls. Next year *groan* Next year i must say, No, we do not trick or treat, BUT we will still come over dress up and give out treats. After all, we can learn lessons from the Joy of giving :)
Our Party at church was a blast, I dressed the part of Princess, after all, I am ALWAYS a princess, but on sunday i dressed the part :) We turn our entire Church building into a Carnival of various games and face painting and food and candy and prizes, we invite everyone and anyone who wants to come play games and eat sweets. Only restriction is no scary costumes, but other than that, wear what you like :) It is fun every year, and this year i took hom the decorative pumpkins. Hence George, the face :) and then i cooked up the other two, took me all day to cut up cook and mash the things :P I also roasted the seeds, and made creamy pumpkin soup fr dinner, YUMMEH!
Grant Told me i HAD to make the pumpkin scary, who ever heard of a silly pumpkin :P
He also tried to imitate the face LOL thats this last pic, isnt he a darling? heeheheheee so today, i must freeze all the orange mush, bake some yummy pumpkin treats and .... hope to GOURD i never see another pumpkin in all my life :D

Monday, October 30, 2006

Cabbage Night!

It's called cabbage night here in Vermont ...... i have heard its not called that everywhere :P But none-the-less, this guy is inside on my counter to keep him safe from those cabbage people. :)
More on George the pumpkin tomorrow. :)

Why I am Weird .....fun Meme ...

I saw this on Heth's blog and liked it ... so i took it :)

9 Weird things about Yubby

  • I go by my nickname "yubby" more often than by my given name of Sara. My family rarely calls me by that, my hubby calls me by it, my nephews call me by it, only my in laws insist on the Given name :) Even my DJ name is Yubby :P
  • I can memorize drama scripts and movies in mere minutes, i walk around with a Smithsonian of movies quotes ranging from nearly ever John Wayne movie ever made all the way to Disney classics, New Disney, pixar, STar wars, LOTR, ..... oh it's CRazy.....BUT ask me to remember what time Church starts? Or when my next dentist Appointment is, or why there is an extra 30$ in the Checkbook......... couldn't tell ya :P
  • I LOVE socks! SOCKS rock my ... erm... socks :) I collect them, I almost have them for every major holiday we celebrate, and of course for every season. I think the weirder twist of this is, I got this Sock SIckness from my Dad. :) He is the original lover of socks :) And all his were OD green ARmy socks how dreadfullly boring!
  • I know more about tools than my husband. I spent 5 years working in the tool area of Sears, selling tools, stocking them, using them, fixing them ..... yuh I'm a Craftsman junkie :)
  • (The next 2 i stole from Heth as it's ME to a TEA!)I rarely finish a beverage. Whenever I go to my parents' house, I leave an almost full glass of ice water sitting on the counter. Rootbeer? Now that's a different story. Milk needs to be cold. VERY cold.
  • When I load the dishwasher, I leave the water running almost the whole time. Sorry environment!
  • I LOVE to dress up. I've gone to LOTS of movies in costume. Star wars first then we moved on to LOTR. I sat in long lines with my little sister both costume clad camped by the door for the FIRST tickets to the new movies. I dont take myself very seriously, therefore i can afford to look the part of a fool :)
  • My FAMILY is NUTS! My mother will go to work tomorrow in costume for Halloween. She borrowed my dress, and my sister's monarchy Faerie wings, and added some of her own oddities .... my MOM is 50 sumpin year old people! NUTs ii tell ya, totally nuts :P
  • I name my Teddy bears after TV detectives. My first was Quincy, my latest is Munch From "Homicide' Life on the street" The bear even has Munch's same bad attitude according to my mother :)
So, now you know some oddities about me ..... yeah .. fun :)

Chatty Cathy Monday

so this week has been just nutty and busy busy busy ... but one fun thing was saturday .... we had no power all day ..and camped out at our church to bake some stuff, and so my hubby could get some videos made for sunday. In all the wind and rain and sleet and snow .... this is how one of our trees ended up :P Poor thing didnt even stand a chance! :P

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Pass it on

Traditions that is .... Passon traditions .... and the one's that get passed to you, take them and mold them to your own character.
This is what i've been trying to focus on this year as we slowly make our way toward december. I Have christmas on the brain, and a budget, and trying to make special things that will last, and have fun memories attatched. One such tradition is something that has been in my family since i was born. It's our Advent Calendar. Yes there isnt anything original about the idea, but the one we had in our home was unique. The first one was Green, with a large tan barn, and simple firgures, it had red brac brac trimming with red pompoms i LOVED the trim :)
My mom redid our in the early 90's to a blue color with silver trim and more detailed characters, even a 2Dimentional barn.
This year, im making my own, for our family to carry on the tradition. :) I've posted some pics of the calendar so far and a few of the characters i've done. I LOVE the new look, and how it still has a striking resemblence to the one's of my childhood. As i go through the porcess, im realizing ... my Mom's is in SAD shape! I may re do a couple of hers as i make my own. I have LOTS more stuff im tyring to arry on, but ill post those later :) Right now, we need mac n cheese :)

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Our house, in the middle of our street

*lol* we have a new house! and a new street! :D
lemme 'splaiin .... no taes too long, lemme sum up ....

Grant got a new playhouse, yesterday i went out to play with him some, and to clean it up, it has lots of cobwebs and dirt, so i cleaned and he "cooked" and i kept kneeeling on something hard, so i dug it up ...... *loL* and it was an old Cell phone! Yuh, with no battery, burried in my lawn, and we just happened to plop the house over THAT spot on the lawn, and the cell phone, to which Grant said "Oh! THERE"S my phone! I lost it so long ago!" He takes it from and sits it in the phone hanger on the wall, which was missing it's toy phone ... o.0

Meanwhile. we are getting new road. Yup, they DO pave roads in Vermont, and occasionally they even RE-pave them! It was pretty fun to watch Kept grant VERY occupied, he even got to talk to the wacky flag lady *lol*

Monday, October 09, 2006

Autumns of another Time

Do you remember when summer NEVER ended? Then when Fall showed up, it was glorious, and lasted FOREVER. The smells everywhere, new clothes smells, new boots smells, new pencils, new notebooks, new tape :D Pumpkin spice, dried leaves under a crispy misty morning dew. Apple orchards, apple pies, apple sauce, apple cider, pumpkins everywhere, and on a quiet fall afternoon in the country, the sound of dried cornstalks shivering in the wind, almost like they anticipate the coming of winter.

This weekend i got a peek into my past. It was GLORIOUS weather all weekend. Bright clear crisp and Peak foliage. On saturday an old friend dropped off a new toy for Grant, well, new to us, well loved by many already, but has LOTS of use still. A Large plastic playhouse for outside. It's so cute! He LOVES it, I even ran out and got a little set of play food to use in the mini kitchen. I got to play with him some, and it was fun! Sitting in that little house, playing with the plastic food, making mushroom clover grass salads, and feeling the fall air blowing through the tiny little hideaway. It reminded me of Many Many fall days spent in woodpile play houses, forest playhouses, falling apart garage playhouses, little pieces of the planet we claimed for our own, once inside we were worlds away from real life, and all those pesky adults. :P

Then on sunday we went apple picking. I LOVE apple picking, i love having the bag of apples on my counter and trying to find enough things to make to use them all up. We went with Mike's family, the WHOLE family pllus a couple friends of Andrea's and our friends Rob and Jenny with thier little boy. Grant has a blast with his uncles chucking apples, and eating apples, and eating more apples. LOL We found a couple "woolybear" catipillars. One was named "soccer" since he curled into a ball, the other was named, "Frendyy" since he was so friendly and crawled all over Grants entire arm *lol*
We topped it off with AWESOME Lomanno Pizza at the Doenges' house, and a walk in the evening that was just gorgeous in the sunset with all the colors on the mountain.

It was a good weekend, tiring, but fun, and VERY vermonty :D
Now, i will drink coffe, eat apple pie for breakfast and then find some apple recipies! :)

Friday, September 29, 2006

Yuh I like socks, and i still buy the clothes so ... yeah *lol*

soo cute :)

Monday, September 25, 2006

Give a Mouse a cookie

"You know, it seemed like a simple idea at first..Grant is up from nap .... they are both cranky .... a snack! fresh chocolate chip cokies .... THAT made them happy! ...and then ... i remembered ..... chocolate is messy :P UGH! Oh well makes for cute pictures :)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

"Live like no one else........so in the end...you can LIVE like no one else!"

soo .. umm yeah this whole money thing has turned me into a full fledged multi tasking NERD! I have just finished my budget for November, and was exstatic about how much im able to save for clothes, and for christmas ..and still pay bills and pay stuff off! :P I never thought to buy clothes for me! until i went out somewhere and realized how grundgy i look :P So, im getting a bit happy about maybe having new jeans :)

So, here is the fun thing :) My hubby did a TAxes booboo for a couple years now(aka DIDNT file ), and he spent most of this summer fixing it, and we have waited to see if we were getting refunded, or if we would pay. The other day, we got notice, saying they were refunding us ..... about 13oo$!!!! :D weehee. So i sat down and plotted out the money ... and la la ... then a dentist bill came UGH! Always something. I would eventually get around to fitting THAT in :P
Well. today, after doing all my budgeting and charts and such ...... i got the mail .... and got a check!!! A check for 1344.83 ..... *faints* ..Woosh! its even 24$ more than i had planned for ..:) Then another check ... from the insurance...for the dentist bill, all but 24$ of it .... :D OMG! can you stand it?? SO now ... we are getting heating oil... as it gets cold, i can go buy sammy a jacket ...and me some jeans ... and OMG i can't decide if im gonna cry or jump up and down ..... i may just do both :D

Monday, September 18, 2006

Happy Birthday Grant!

Yesterday we celebrated Grant's third birthday. I TRIED to keep it small, but My family plus mike's family can't really EVER be small :) then my hubby kept making food! *lol* everyone left happy to not need dinner heehehe
this is my cake Yup, RED RED RED and BLACK :P Not so tasty most of the time, but hey, grant LOVED it, and the boys ate alot of cake, so thats what matters :)
He got some really cute gifts, some FAST gifts :) and ummm an odd one :)

LOL my sister is crazy :P
Here is the whole pictoral stoyr of the day :)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

September 14th ..... a day that will live in Infamy....

Well ,its a big day here ...:) 4 years ago .. we looked like this all dandied up and ready to start out on a journey. :) We went to SanFransisco for our honeymoon, which was a gift from very dear friends :) More PICS HERE
And then one year later ... our lives centered around this little bundle :) Little stinker had to be born on our anniversary *lol* no probs though..... we'll never top THAT gift to each other :) more boy PICS HERE
So yeah thats our September 14th ...... hope yours is happy! :)

Monday, September 11, 2006

I remember

That morning, i was at work. I worked in the sporting goods department of my local Sears store. It was myself and one other person that day, and it was SLOW. We couldn't belive that not one person was shopping today. My co-worker, Emilio, called his girlfriend while i cleaned off the excersize equipment. Then he said the strangest thing.
"Im going over to electronics, something on the news about the world trade center falling, or another bomb or something."
How odd, I remember the last ime the WTC got bombed, that was kinda scarry, not as bad as the Oklahoma city thing i had thought, but how sad if that was true. Maybe i should call my mom?
"Hi Mom, are you okay? I heard that something happened in Ny?" I couldnt understand why my mother was crying, she was so lost ... not talking .... then i heard ..... "Oh my GOD! Sara have to go"
Thats when i ran, I ran to electronics, my first thought was, huh, this is where everyone is. EVERYONE, employees, customers, all crowded around the TVS running the news coverage. There it was the horror on 72 inches of Sony color. New York was burning it seemed like. My mom had been watching the second Plane hit when she hung up. Now i understood. Now we all started to see .... this wasn't an accident! Someone is killing us! someone is flying planes into OUR city!! WHAT is going on!!
Then the first tower fell, i fell, i fell to my knees, along with a couple women around me ... one woman was hysterical she almost collapsed. I just froze, staring, on my knees, praying asking why? asking Who?
Then the news ticker running across the tv said ..... "All military units are on high alert, awaiting orders." Then i lost it, i ran into the stockroom and cried. My brother, is in the Army, my best friends 3 brothers are all Army .... i have sunday school students who are now grown in the army .... suddenly i felt VERY small ... and VERY vulnerable, and VERY PATRIOTIC. Then i got MAD! I'm still mad! not quite so insane, :P but still wishing justice, and now wishing we were still one nation.
I tried to call my Fiance, he was in Mass. where he lived. He laughed at me, i was nervous about how close to boston he may be, who knoew if Boston was safe? who knew WHAT was safe? I wanted him HOME. I NEEDED him home. He was very good, assured me he was fine, and that maybe i should get off the phone, since the entire eastern grid was jammed by people calling cell phones. He's so smart :) I felt a little better, but SO lost.
That night was youth group, but we met at the church, with anyone who wanted to come, and i was worried about to tell these teens, but you know? They told me, they spoke, and gave me hope, they had insight like you wouldn't believe! I was so blessed by that night!
I remember thr candle light vigil on friday night. We lined our main street with candles and sang ... and waved to cars, and brought stuffed animals to our local Fire house, they were driving a truck down to NYC stuffed with animals for the children left behind orphaned by this horrible day. My fiance showed up that night and i was feeling a bit safer, happy to have my loved one, and then felt so blessed that mine could come home. That we would get married and have kids, and how so many people now had lost that, how SAD! SO SAD!
I sat in front of the TV all night, for days i watched, i couldnt take my eyes off of it. It was a month of hell. BUT we all came together like I've never seen. I wish it were still like that now!
I remember my sister. She is a sensitive soul, sensitive to people and thier pain, and intuitive. For days , my sister heard the pain of the people dying in the towers. She HEARD screaming for days inside her head. Until the last day, she came into mom and said ..... the last voice stopped mom, they are all gone now. and she wept ... then slept .. she hadnt slept since it happened. She could only hear the pain, and pray for their souls as they dwindled down to that last voice. Erie i know, but .... almost an honor really. She had a connection to them, no one will ever understand. She won't EVER forget that day.
Even a year later, while i planned for my wedding, people had forgotten already. HOW is that possible? HOW could you possibly forget?? We were shopping for wedding things, and found "we will not forget" pins in a fabric store. The girls there had made them. Mom and i bought some and wore them all day. I still have it ... i wear it. I WILL NOT FORGET!!

WE REMEMBER read more memories

5 years, innocent people working hard .. maintaining livleyhoods, innocent people flying aircraft, going to see family .... working hard at defending our country ..... senselessly KILLED with no reason, no provacation ..... in the middle of a beautiful September day. I will remember the pain, the terror, the feeling of vulnerability. The knowledge that I would have many soldiers going to war out of my circle of friends ....... and the immediate feeling of PATRIOTISM ....... of wanting to wear our colors and scream U.S.A!! I WILL NOT let that fervor die. we should be PROUD to live here, PROUD of our freedoms PROUD of our duty to other to help them find those same freedoms. I am PROUD to be an AMERICAN.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

"George ...... You were never Born"

Winter is on its way. Well we havent really hit fall yet, but here in vermont, as soon as it's cool at night for 3 weeks in a row, we start pulling out winter mindsets, buying heating oil, wood, movies, and new snowsuits.
Winter is my favorite season, but im starting to think it's probably not for all the best reasons. :P I LOVE cold, the colder the better. I LOVE fall the leaves changing, the crisp air, walks in the woods. SNOW! Snow is awesome, snowstorms, sledding skating. skiing, snowmen, snowball fights. Hot Cocoa afterwards. Flannel sheets, warm slippers, CHRISTMAS!
Yup those are all good reasons, but the not so wonderful reason, is that i like to Hermit in the winter. I like to stay in my house, stay away from lots of people. I feel more comfortable pulling away into my shell and not feeling the need to socialize. Dunno if thats ok or not, but i feel it coming on every year. Just about now. It's better this year though, i cant really stay in that much with kids, so i may not fall so victim to the feeling. :P
last night i wanted to dissapear, just go away ... watch from the shawdows, like a ghost. See what life without me would look like. Yeah i have a george Bailey complex I guess. *lol* But think about it .... how would your surroundings be if you weren't in them?

Monday, September 04, 2006

Go out doing what you love

:( Steve Irwin died. That's sad. Not all that suprising really, but still none less sad. He was killing by a Manta Ray sting to the heart. His wife was backpacking in the mountains at the time. HERE is the article

I hope i go down doing what I love! :)

Thursday, August 31, 2006


ahh thursday :) I love thursdays, well every other one anyway. It's payday .. payday is GOOD! i sat down and figured out how much we have been able to save this summer, for various things, emergency fund, to by a beater car, mission trip gift .... in all we have saved nearly $2000 so far. :) AND ...in just catching up and paying things off, we have shaved off $660 in debt .... that's taken care of 3 payments we have been making every month, adn has mae our utilities ALOT smaller :)

Today im organizing all my junk for the Labor Day Tag Sale. I've never done one :P we shall see how it goes. I've done them, but they were my Mom's and her's were legendary, we had 6-12 families involved, on a huge front lawn off of a main road with 2'x3' plywood signs to get people there. So, you can see why im a bit intimidated. :D But i have some good items, furniture and NICE baby clothes .... hopefully it goes well :)
'Hot Dogs are burning :) gtg :P