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Friday, October 07, 2011

Grant Paul

I have a son, his name is Grant, he is 8, he was born in Springfield Mass. while Hurricane Isabelle beat down on top of us. He was our first child, and he was 10lbs 10oz. He is adorable, and smart, and quick witted like me, he is also brilliant and outgoing like his Dad. He has a knack for sports, and a love of computers. His favorite food is Mac n Cheese, and he loves his dog.
Grant is also my #1 challenge in Life right now. From the moment he started speaking and showing personality, it was clear that he was going to be one of a kind, and no walk in the park. He has problems with focus, if we took him to be examined by an expert, he would be "labeled" as ADHD, and who knows what else. Maybe at some point I will do that, just for the expert advice on how to deal with it better. For now though, we know him, we know how he is, and we know he is a GOOD kid and a SMART kid, he just has things about his little body he can't control.
He can't sit still, he can't stay on task any longer than 5 minutes alone, he needs constant reminders, and pushing to stay with it, and complete one thing at a time. He is highly emotional and has a hard time controlling his emotions. He is also hyper, like, MUST be moving, MUST be doing something, MUST go run, and expend energy. He talks non-stop. It's not annoying or bad talking, just him sharing what is in his head, and what he is thinking, 24-7.
It could look to someone like I am blowing something out of proportion, but any Mom who is dealing with a similar thing gets this, and knows how tired I am. :P
It is difficult to separate the BAD stuff, from the HIM stuff. Or the bad attitudes from the un controllable emotion chip. Like if he forgets to feed the dog, THAT is just him, he gets busy in has head and forgets, but then ,,,, he lies about it. He is worried I will be mad, and worried about being yelled at for forgetting, so he lies. I have to deal with it, but then I feel bad, because I react badly to his forgetfulness to the point he feels he needs to lie :P
Now understand, I am not a softie, I tend more towards military style parenting, LOL, but, God decided I needed a kid who is so not black and white. Someone I need to connect to emotionally, someone who will get me outside of my box. I have to be on call all the time, and think before I react, EVERY time. I have to weigh, is this his quirk, or is this him being obstinate.
He really IS a very good kid, and really does try to make people happy,. and he loves to be praised, and he loves to accomplish things, and push himself to do better. He just has this block, He forgets, or gets distracted, and then, everything I might have said is gone, and he is in the moment, and forgets, shoes, or to change his shirt, or to brush his teeth, and then needs to explain it all to me, but I just want him UPSTAIRS DOING IT. Then we get emotions, and I go into ..... don't cry to get out of it ...... and it's a circle of stress. :P
At school, it is showing, his teacher is awesome, and has a knack for dealing with him, but her concern, and now ours is that when he gets to 3rd grade he won't be able to handle the atmosphere, since it is alot of working alone, and getting your work done at your desk, in the time given, without reminders or breaks or the ability to get up or talk. It will be a new world, and NOT a place he will thrive in at all. This year we will be working on things. Grant is my new job. I will be working with him every moment i can to help him focus and think ahead and prepare for a new school scene next year. I will also be researching dietary changes, to help his body. He can't have any red dyes, I actually try to avoid any at all really, but I am thinking we need to go deeper, whatever he needs to keep his body in control, that is what we will do.
I sounds like a lot of work to me, and it makes me tired to think about it, but, I want my smart little scientist to excel, and to reach the goals he wants to reach, I want him to make the grades that show how brilliant he is, so he can get into a great college where he belongs, and find the cure to cancer, or whatever great thing he will invent.
And so, that's my vent on Grant ...... I do love the heck out of that kid, he is a light in a dark dumb world :D