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Sunday, December 04, 2011

Yubby

Hey there,
First off, Lemme splain, Haggie is a name I acquired from an online friend, don't totally remember the story, but it just stuck.
YUBBY, is a nickname given to me by my younger brother David. He is 14 years younger than me, and I was more of a parent than sibling, this created a cool, weird, super strong Bond. He tried to call me "lovey" when he was very little, and it came out YUBBY, and it stuck, like crazy glue. When I met my husband, he kept calling me Sara, and it sounded so weird, my Family and friends had been calling me Yubby, or Yubs, or Yubmeister...etc. for so long, I forgot the sound of my own name. LOL!
So, me, this post is about me. The year 2011 has been a breakthrough year for me. I have overcome many many many mental and physical obstacles, and I feel like, although it's taken me many years to get here, this year it all clicked, and I am a totally different person going into 2012.
The first, and most obvious change, is my weight. I have battled with it for years. Yo-Yo-ing with all different methods, and never getting anywhere noticeable. This spring, I started Weight Watchers, I also accepted a challenge to run the Virginia Tough Mudder in October. These two things worked together, I needed to slim down, get healthy, and WORK OUT in order to simply survive this race. With the support of my team, our little Facebook group made up of mostly family and some good friends from way back. We did it, we completed it, each of us, we got there, we ran it, we got the headbands, and we felt GOOD!
When I started 2011, I felt fat, and uncomfortable, I tried to dress the body I had, but I didn't like it, I didn't like the mirror I didn't want my picture taken. Today, less then a month away from 2012, I have lost 20 lbs, I have gone from size 14 jeans to size 10. I have gone from a large to a medium. THIS is huge! I also gotten more toned, however, due to a sprained knee from the Mudder, I had to take a break, but I will get back at it, now, if I tone up, I will drop more pounds, and woohoo! I will be beyond thrilled!
So, the weight has done alot to boost my self confidence. not only because I like what I see, but because I accomplished something, I appreciate every outfit because I worked so very hard to get here. I want to show it off all the time! LOL This is very odd for me. I have spent MOST of my life covering up, even when I wore small shirts and size 8 jeans. :P I have discovered a good hair style, and have embraced make-up, and EYE-liner! I take my pics now, lol, I want to post them all over Facebook to say, Look! Look what i did! Can you believe it?! But, it kinda looks like I'm in love with myself, so I try to tone it down some. ;)
I have had mental breakthrough's too, I have made up my mind about some things, or decided to let other things go, and not stress about it. I am a free, open person, always have been, but now I am vocal about it. This is new, I have always been pretty cautious, worried about "what will they think" or "that person won't like that" or "What if they don't like me?" .. I'm done, it's too much work, I want to enjoy life, I want to be happy, and fun to be around. I have laughed and loved and embraced more life this year than I can ever remember.
I spent all summer at the pool. Small change but significant ;) This is not me, LOL, I always feel i should get house work done, or do something constructive, but you know what? My kids were off school, they wanted to swim, and it's 100yds from my house, and free, so why not? Who wouldn't love to sit around the pool all summer and tan? LOL. Well, that's me, a pool mom, and I am GOOD with it. ;)
My husband and I are more in love now than we were when we got married. We will be married 10 yrs in Sept. and I am so excited for the next 10 yrs. We have never talked more, been on the same page so much, been able to express ourselves, been soo relaxed with each other.

(another small but significant change ) ... I have embraced my Lineage, and got myself a football jersey and turn the on the TV on Sunday, and we watch football, and there is no discussion. ;)

Most importantly, I have turned and faced my past square in the eye. I have been picking it apart, the church/cult I ended up in, the friendships that confused me, the ones that survived, the people I have lost, the personal trauma I have dealt with. I haven't gotten all my answers, but I have been able to lay alot of things to rest. I have always been a "water off a ducks back" kind of person, and lately, the fog is lifting and I am getting back to that mindset, and it's a good place to be.

I realize some of this is Vague, but, people who know me best know what I'm talking about, people who want to know me better, ask me about it, I'll fill you in. ;) I just wanted to write because I know i seem different, and people may be wondering what kind of bug I got bitten by. LOL it's a good bug, it's a new Yubby, a "back to the classics"...."better than ever" kind of Yubby. It's all good yo. ;)