Monday, October 20, 2014

Why I Run

I never wanted to run, 
I never liked to run, 
I never felt a need to run
Some of my worst night sweats are induced by dreams of not reaching a goal, or getting out of a situation, or not being able to save someone, due to an inability to run.

Running has never been important, or noteworthy, or even contemplated. I actually wanted to run from the very idea of it (puny i know)

Now, I love to run, I itch to run, I ache from not running
I crave the rush, the sore feet, and the flushed face.
I crave the quiet, of the crisp air passing by my headphones. The rhythmic clap of my sneakers on the pavement while Bono and Adam Levine Sing me to the next mile.

Sometimes i wonder when the change happened. How is it possible that this is now my go-to stress relief? How in the world did we get to a point where I, Sara Doenges, choose a run over a date with Jillian Michaels' Shred video? 

I figured it out. When I was young, living in Rural New England, my sports were Biking in the summer, and skating in the winter. Both involved speed, a steady breeze, and the rush. My face feeling flushed with heat, from the cold, the wind, and the work of keeping up that pace. The better i got at skating, the better I wanted to get. The more tricks I could master, to more I wanted to learn. The faster I could go on my bike, the longer I wanted to go. The higher hills I could climb meant more speed races down them. 
I have always loved speed, and adrenaline, and the RUSH. 
These days, in Ohio, Ice skating is sorta hard to find, especially on a regular basis. Biking is good, but so flat, and not very scenic, and too many cars. So, what is one to do?
I run, I started running to train for one race. To get myself out of a rut of depression. It worked, all science tells us that exercise makes so many things better, including the brain, it also boosts your mood, medically, and mentally. So i trained. 
I signed up for a half marathon, and ran 9.5 miles of it until my knee gave out. 
It was the biggest rush! Bigger then the Tough mudder, since I was running it mostly alone, and running, really running most of it. It was a personal thing, me and the road. 
I had my Bestie in the race with me, but she was doing her personal thing, at her pace.
This is what I love about running, you do it together, but it's still your thing, and everyone knows it. There is no judgment, there is only support, and applause, and pride in every mile conquered, every time shaved off.
 I have recovered from my knee injury, and from a broken foot. I now am getting back into it. SLOWLY
I love the rush. The flushed face, the feeling that I told myself to keep going, and i did. 
Now, I want to run, 
I LOVE to run. 
Every mile I get past, makes me crave the next one. 
Every time I put up is one step to the next Personal Best.
I may not LOOK like a runner should look, I don't keep a pace like you would imagine a runner keeping, but it doesn't matter, because 
My Pace, My Race, 
I am running and I am loving it.

Sara Doenges 
Oct 20 2014