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My own worst demons

Sometimes, I get sad, for no real reason. It's called depression, it makes no sense, it has no preference for body types, or personality types, it just exists. Too bad for me, it lives in me. It is not easy to talk about, I can here, because pretty much anyone who reads this, gets it.
Today, and for a little while now, the voices are winning, they are winning in the weight loss fight, they are winning in the love fight, in the mommy fight, and yes, in the laundry fight.
It's very unfair, but, the only way to get back on one's feet, is never to let them knock you off your feet. (if you can help it) This round, isn't as bad as some, so I can stay on my feet, and walk, one step a day, a shower here, an outing there, it all helps me "be normal" and once in a while the voices get drowned by life.
**siiigh** that's all just had to write it down, another thing that helps me keep walking.

something I wrote a while ago, in my Dark months ...... (early spring sucks in my head) This is how I WAS feeling, not quite so dark today, but I think it's worth sharing, so no one feels alone.
;D

"Standing still, and the world is spinning,
My muse is worried, but the darkness is grinning
I feel I'm not far from slipping down then slope
Getting back up is the work; having to ask for a rope

I wonder how long i can stay up here,
teetering over the cliff
Sometimes I crave it,
Usually I'm scared stiff

There are days when the Darkness is inviting
Like a blanket I want to get lost in
Other days it's like a dark scary closet
I keep it closed so the monster stays in
Hanging over the crevasse, feeling the depths below,
It's comforting today, all i need it to just let go...."

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Update

Well, life got crazy for everyone. Updating a hair blog didn’t seem very important, but as we stand and look forward at what is sure to be an even more bizarre year end, I find the need to be thinking about something frivolous and fun. I’ve had some serious health issues lately that are still working themselves out, so I really just needed a pick me up. Who doesn’t? So here are some pics, my hair is crazy curly these days, and recently I even cut it, by myself, after doing some online reading about how to do it, and I LOVE my hair right now! It’s so bouncy and light and off my neck!  My last hair appointment before the quarantine shut down.  Got pneumonia had to go to ER for Covid tests and all the fun stuff. Thankfully it was quickly fixed with antibiotics  I am trying to grow out my grey and embrace the “sparkle” but, it’s hard without a good colorist, or cut, so I made it through the shut down with manic panic ultra violet. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 4th of July, didn’t go anywhere of ...