tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-278291152024-03-14T00:15:32.138-04:00Meaningless rantings of a cabin fevered Mom.Mom of Teens, sharing the stories of our life. YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.comBlogger257125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-1617137664684236102020-07-20T11:11:00.001-04:002020-07-20T11:11:01.837-04:00Update Well, life got crazy for everyone. Updating a hair blog didn’t seem very important, but as we stand and look forward at what is sure to be an even more bizarre year end, I find the need to be thinking about something frivolous and fun. I’ve had some serious health issues lately that are still working themselves out, so I really just needed a pick me up. Who doesn’t? So here are some pics, my hair is crazy curly these days, and recently I even cut it, by myself, after doing some online reading about how to do it, and I LOVE my hair right now! It’s so bouncy and light and off my neck! <div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1hfjzCXVKcUdgmM6oA7qf3HaifacE7MtD" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1hfjzCXVKcUdgmM6oA7qf3HaifacE7MtD" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">My last hair appointment before the quarantine shut down. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1EIt1gsnguphIWDPT3t56VO_Xp8glcMyo" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1EIt1gsnguphIWDPT3t56VO_Xp8glcMyo" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Got pneumonia had to go to ER for Covid tests and all the fun stuff. Thankfully it was quickly fixed with antibiotics </div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1P6eLRy4_R3wvUUOTx3v4CcKm1AVTdKqN" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1P6eLRy4_R3wvUUOTx3v4CcKm1AVTdKqN" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">I am trying to grow out my grey and embrace the “sparkle” but, it’s hard without a good colorist, or cut, so I made it through the shut down with manic panic ultra violet. 🤷🏻♀️😂</span><span style="text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1qYF6EHCVGfIKNuGy8FGVA59eG-XfGevJ" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1qYF6EHCVGfIKNuGy8FGVA59eG-XfGevJ" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></span><span style="text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">4th of July, didn’t go anywhere of course, lol but gotta celebrate and my hair was spending too much time up in a bun or pigtails, I think it was time for a cut! </span><span style="text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18vQOPCl_mvcLAlKT3OhyYCUnoAdpnrLj" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18vQOPCl_mvcLAlKT3OhyYCUnoAdpnrLj" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1487aAInNLx2Zdqy66LTyzE6SoFscb2L9" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1487aAInNLx2Zdqy66LTyzE6SoFscb2L9" style="text-align: left; font-size: 12pt; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></span><span style="text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">My hairdresser and I are both high risk for Covid, so, I read online about cutting your own curly hair..... so, i did!! I LOVE IT! It’s so much more curly all around, and so much cooler when it’s off my neck, I am just LOVING my hair right now! </span></div>YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-10840261069524053232020-01-21T21:03:00.001-05:002020-01-21T21:14:12.783-05:00Proper hair cut Today I got my hairs cut, in a curly way 😍 also colored, but kind, semi-permanent color. I feel clean, light, young and quite springy 😂😍🤷🏻♀️<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #292929; font-family: "lora" , serif; font-size: 20px;">curlygirl #embracingthecurls #banthestraightener #beingabetterme #curlygirlmethod</span><img alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=128wX6esCFgst8I5p0GFWCAx_yaYoTU43" src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=128wX6esCFgst8I5p0GFWCAx_yaYoTU43" style="height: auto; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; width: auto;" />YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-43333178487164886332020-01-17T14:21:00.001-05:002020-01-21T21:10:43.206-05:00Let’s be real So, I got the Curly girl Method book, (I’ll add the amazon link) and I went to Walmart today and got some great products, and then Co-washed my hair, leave in conditioner and then gel. Then I clipped UP my roots, And THIS is how I look waiting for it to air dry. I will only do this level on my days off, with no one home 😂. It’s pretty rough 🤪<br />
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#curlygirlmethod #embracethecurl #beingreal #curlyhair<br />
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<img alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1zmO6ad_9u6TsV6G__EM0SkpYHmbAlvld" src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1zmO6ad_9u6TsV6G__EM0SkpYHmbAlvld" style="height: auto; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; width: auto;" /></div>
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Waiting to dry, with wine <img alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1kXpc0tJkdtCQXuilaU278y4ee1-tf_bB" src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1kXpc0tJkdtCQXuilaU278y4ee1-tf_bB" style="font-size: 12pt; height: auto; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; width: auto;" /></div>
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Cleaning conditioner = co-wash (bought at Walmart) and conditioner (bought at Walgreens) </div>
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<img alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1RDPDvufUgCRfaasqiqMZ1QR0eAM2jNK9" src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1RDPDvufUgCRfaasqiqMZ1QR0eAM2jNK9" style="font-size: 12pt; height: auto; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; width: auto;" /></div>
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After shower add ins. A little leave in, (from Walmart) and gel, (from walgreens) </div>
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YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-53467546542270099992020-01-15T19:02:00.001-05:002020-01-21T21:13:16.669-05:00Pics to start Just a couple pics to look back on and see if my hair changes at all. Today is 4 days of not brushing.... at all 😬. Feels like I’m forgetting many steps every day, but already so much less hassle!<br />
#curlygirlmethod <span style="background-color: white; color: #292929; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 20px;">curlygirl #embracingthecurls #banthestraightener #beingabetterme</span><br />
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<img alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1xBWjeZDRHTfxyZulb5JIF_XwqQUn-ND4" src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1xBWjeZDRHTfxyZulb5JIF_XwqQUn-ND4" style="height: auto; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; width: auto;" />Day 1, and kept straight bangs <img alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1VzjnWqT_GdArunsKlqoJAyVPxJmA7bmi" src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1VzjnWqT_GdArunsKlqoJAyVPxJmA7bmi" style="font-size: 12pt; height: auto; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; width: auto;" />day 3, didn’t straighten the bangs, and so much easier <img alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18MikTWPYDMAY6Jz2QQGT1y7bnGvC0ByF" src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18MikTWPYDMAY6Jz2QQGT1y7bnGvC0ByF" style="font-size: 12pt; height: auto; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; width: auto;" /></div>
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Trying to get a pic of the top and back </div>
YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-46257299461531855702020-01-14T18:56:00.001-05:002020-01-21T21:12:00.400-05:00Going Curly <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tNaMkhtbk9w/Xh5S0e5hYBI/AAAAAAAAYZY/IPPC1mpOrAYXIM2_5GQ3UO9NDUYwmPW3gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/straightner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="958" data-original-width="960" height="319" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tNaMkhtbk9w/Xh5S0e5hYBI/AAAAAAAAYZY/IPPC1mpOrAYXIM2_5GQ3UO9NDUYwmPW3gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/straightner.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I'm embarking on a challenge of sorts, not like the time i went a year without alcohol, not like when i decided to NEVER smoke another cigarette, (on year+ strong by the way)<br />
This is a Better me sort of challenge. I'm embracing who I am, how I am and what makes me me.<br />
I have curly hair, I had long pin straight hair growing up, that would frizz and fluff in the summer. In the 90's I PERMED. Like hardcore, 90$ spiral perms every 6 months for many years.<br />
I chopped it off, and several years later, my mom introduced me to a "STRAIGHTENER" and my life was joyous! I could control my hair, it was straight, and silky and pretty.<br />
So, that was ...... 13 years ago? I've been killing my hair with chemicals, color, heat and shampoo, it's frizz, and limp, and makes me want to keep straightening, but now, i want to stop. I don't even like it straight anymore, but it's the only way i know to make it look pretty.<br />
Well, I'm jumping in, when i wash my hair, and let it air dry, it's CURLY, SO CURLY! But, not consistent pretty curls, damaged, dull and frizzy.<br />
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So, here i go, almost 43 years old, giving up the straightener, and learning how to DO curly hair. I will post pics of my progress, and my failures, and what works and what doesn't. Mostly for my own reference, but also, in case anyone else wants to try.<br />
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Wish my luck! :P<br />
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#newyearnewme #curlygirl #embracingthecurls #banthestraightener #beingabettermeYubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-66942136515851244582015-12-18T10:16:00.003-05:002015-12-18T10:58:23.935-05:00365 days ago....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2XGycmlecuQ/VnQjL6Hjn7I/AAAAAAAAWvw/0Z6XXYeik2Q/s1600/coverphoto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2XGycmlecuQ/VnQjL6Hjn7I/AAAAAAAAWvw/0Z6XXYeik2Q/s320/coverphoto.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<span data-offset-key="etj9m-0-0">So, if you are a person who notices things, you may have noticed that i haven’t changed my facebook cover photo in a year, which is odd for me, because I like to decorate EVERYWHERE for any occasion. The message on my cover photo came to me last Christmas season, in a time when I really needed it. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="3omid-0-0">I suffer, no, I FIGHT depression, and Anxiety. I choose not to say suffer, as I want people to know it’s a fight, not simply a burden. it affects me every day, in every corner, and 365 days ago, i was pretty deep in a hole. I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t love myself, I didn’t see nearly as much worth in myself as those around me daily tried to convince me of. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="a1eq1-0-0">I got this message, and a challenge started in my brain, and I took some action, and put myself on a road of self discovery, and started to change the thinking processes I’ve held tightly for so many years. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="tsjt-0-0">365 days ago, i was barely holding on by a thread, I missed my dear friends who live so far away. I was feeling some serious rejection that was unfair and mean. I was tired, out of shape, overweight and tired. I didn’t see myself as anything important, even being a mom to me didn't seem like such a big deal. It was so “easy” and methodical and “just what i do” it didn’t seem that significant. My brain threw facts at me, it replayed the lovely things my family and friends said to me, to try to convince me that I was something to be proud of, but none of it could get through the fog, or the doubt, or the darkness. Anxiety takes over then, and I become unable to cope with social occasions, simple getting coffee with someone was such a mountain, the only thing that helped was screen time, when I could just go blank and not think, or a drink, or 4. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="dfei7-0-0">365 days ago, I decided God has a plan, and no matter what, I was going to stay in ready mode. I needed to be around to see it, I needed to be someone He could use. I needed a new source of strength.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="2d39j-0-0">365 days ago, I decided to cut alcohol from my diet, for a year. To break some bad habits, to work on dealing with social anxiety like an adult, to find myself, under all the masks. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="bq5lf-0-0">356 days ago, I was getting ready to start heavy training for a half marathon, CRAZY.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="8iftk-0-0">365 days ago, I wasn’t really sure what my idea of God was. Or how He fit into my daily life.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="atp70-0-0">In the past 365 days, I haven’t been drinking, (much) There were some events, weddings, retirement, vegas, a half marathon, a couple things where a drink was celebratory, not the only way to get through socializing. It was hard, REALLY hard, i am, no, was, really bad at small talk, and being social. However, in this last year, I have found out that I can be a normal chatty human, and socialize with people like every once else. Yes it takes a lot out of me, but it doesn't kill me, and people actually seem to enjoy being around me. yeah I was shocked too. :) </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cc5f6-0-0">In the past 365 days, I have embraced my parenting skills. I’m, chaotic, unorganized and a little nutty, but you know what? Who cares?! My husband is solid, and task oriented, and we work well together, and we both want the same outcome. To raise awesome humans. So, it all works out. I have been a lot more relaxed, just being ok with who I am. I have nothing to live up to, I am a grown up, I grew up to be this person, and this person is pretty darn awesome. I like her a lot. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="8juc4-0-0">In the past 365 days, I trained, and ran a half Marathon. That is correct, I ran 13.1 miles. I found an ability to tell myself i could do it, to believe it, and to achieve it. In the training process i kept finding myself doubting, and then talking myself out of it. No running to the TV, no beer to drown the anxiety, just me, and the road, and having to just believe that I could do it, and i DID! </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9ng6l-0-0">In the past 365 days I have had a spiritual awakening. I put myself in places that felt uncomfortable, but I knew it was part of that path God wanted me on. I knew if I wanted to see His plan, I needed to do these things. I joined a Moms Bible study. I got Baptized along with my daughter. I remembered what it felt like to be a kid, who was oblivious to the pain of the world, and just happy. I re-connected to God, I heard his message of Love, and it overwhelmed me so much that it changed my thinking. My thinking about EVERYTHING. The world looks so different to me now, I just want to help people, to love people, and have them know this LOVE that i have re-discovered. It’s such a crazy feeling! </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="ancmf-0-0">In 365 days, I have discovered new things about myself that I like, things that i need to work on, things that aren’t such a huge deal, that I really need to just get over. I have missed wine with steak diner, and real beer while watching football. (I have a 6pack chilling for the packers game on Sunday) I started weight watchers, and thanks muchly to Braces, I am doing really well! :D I am proud of myself for the control I have taken over my mind. I still have a laundry list of things about myself that need work, but not stressing about it, I’m not worried so much about what people think. I’m getting back to my old “water off a ducks back” self of the late 90’s (yeah, I’m THAT old :P) </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="5ifeb-0-0">In 365 days, life has changed for me, a year ago today, such a different frame of mind from what I have today. I kept the verse as my facebook cover for a year to remind myself that I was doing serious work. Well, I have done serious work, and I have serious fruit, and now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take that fruit, and make some wine. ;) </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="3qdeh-0-0">SED 12/18/15</span></div>
YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-56198870883000033582015-02-03T10:00:00.004-05:002015-02-03T10:00:51.761-05:00Why my phone is part of my life...... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ekr0Z2TL_C0/VNDihrXe-_I/AAAAAAAAVxs/jKQ1kuWoz8Y/s1600/textbff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ekr0Z2TL_C0/VNDihrXe-_I/AAAAAAAAVxs/jKQ1kuWoz8Y/s1600/textbff.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
Yup, I admit it, I am one of those. One of those people who cannot put down my phone. I am one who needs to be told "it's not phone time now" or "we are doing real time here, face to face, no phone"<br />
I used to deny it, (sometimes I still do) I used to feel bad about it, (sometimes I still do), but you know what? Deep down, the real me, the rational me, says, 'Yup, thats me, and that's ok!"<br />
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You want to know why? I am an introvert, through and through. I have anxiety and battle depression. It's part of who I am and knit into me, and I will be dealing with it my entire life. The Deal here is, find ways to live a meaningful life around all that. This is where my phone comes into play.<br />
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I am not ant-social, I love hanging with my BFFs as much as the next guy, but I don't have that many really, I don't have a need to gather a whole gaggle of besties to surround me at all times, I like to have a few solids, that I can go to, no matter what, and they have my back, they know me through and through, and i know them and it's safe. The problem with that, is when those people move, I am left with holes, yes, I get my alone time, but even an old tortoise like me CAN get TOO MUCH alone time, i start to miss people, and that sucks!<br />
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My phone, it is my friend portal. I am SO much of a better friend because of it! ( I hear you, 'dang if this is her being SO MUCH better, heaven help us if she ever looses it!')<br />
I know, I'm bad at staying connected, I used to have pen pals when I was young, and had time, and stationary, and lots of nonsense to write, these days, who ever sends cards?! Staying connected to my friends online is a seriously a life saver to me. I know, that some of my closest gal pals have the same struggles as me, running, or kids, or family stuff, or even just the introvert-ness. I can help them, as they are helping me. I talk to my friends every day, we laugh, and smile, and vent at each other, plan visits, celebrate our kids' milestones, groan over mom blues and struggles, consult on clothing choices, and home decor, and share our coffee selfies with no judgment. It's a good thing!<br />
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I peruse facebook regularly, and you know what it does for me? It keeps me updated on my family, i see my nieces and nephews grow before my eyes. I see my football girlfriends,<br />
(I apologize to you all right now for NOT staying in touch, but i am keeping up on your lives!!! Love you girls!! )<br />
Which make me laugh sometimes, because we all live so close, and our kids are all in school together, but if not for our online connection, i would NEVER see these girls, or know how their lives are going, and I really do care, I really do enjoy staying connected, it is REALLY important to me!<br />
So you see, I am attached to my phone, for very good reasons, (and games, but c'mon, we gotta have a weakness)<br />
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Staying connected online for someone like me, with high anxiety, is safe. I know this can go either way, but for me, it's good. Like I said, I'm not anti-social, i just get anxious, i get a lot of internal dialogue when i go into social settings, it can be crippling sometimes, it hinders my ability to be easy going. When i am chatting with friends online, that is all gone, I don't worry about what i'm wearing or how I look, or why i laughed that way, or why my eyes keep going cross-eyed, I don't look at the other persons outfit and think, 'man she is put together, i wish i had her style' or 'i wonder if I only feel like a schlump, or if i really look like one, cuz dang this chic is always so classy'.<br />
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(yes, i have stylish, classy friends, and no, i don't think they are judging me, lol, i judge myself enough for the whole world, it's an inner dialogue I can't mute.)<br />
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Talking online, it eliminates all of that, and I can concentrate on what is being said, how they are feeling, and what the real stuff is. It also keeps us so close, that when we are together, it just feels like another day, like we have been with each this whole time, and it's just comfortable, always.<br />
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It's a tool, a darn good one, and I am glad for it. I have become a better friend, I actually send random cards now, and my birthday cards are getting closer and closer to getting sent out on time. I think it shows some growth don't you? :)<br />
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Don't feel bad about being BFF's with your phone, if it makes you a better friend, keeps you in the loop, gives you some sense of 'not so alone-ness', then I say, stick with it! We moms need anything and everything we can get our hands on to stay connected, and to build each other up, and keep each other sane!<br />
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I'm gonna go run now, and yes, I'm going to post it on Facebook, because I like to applause. ;)<br />
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SED- 2-3-2015YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-21593760171754881272015-01-09T09:48:00.000-05:002015-01-09T09:48:52.457-05:00It is Well ...... This past Sunday, I stood in church. Our church is big church in a metro area, it's a multi-site church, and this past week was our first time in our new local building. A gigantic, new, multi-media, state-of-the-art, BIG building. As we stood, in awe of the industrial design, the new tech, the light-show, the number of people, the music, it was the music that brought me about, and took me to a far away place.<br />
We sang and old hymn, one reason i love this church so, they respect the way we grew up, they respect "The old ways" and they dovetail it into this new age. Keeping the important messages and making them fresh and new, and helping us to see new things in the sometimes tired feeling tunes and words. On this day we sang "It is well with my soul", one of my all time favorite hymns. it was this song that took me on a trip.<br />
I was suddenly in a smaller building, the basement, a dusty, echoing, wooden public hall. I am small, in a calico dress made by my talented seamstress of a mother, swinging my legs, clad in baggy tights that rarely fit my chicken like legs. I looked to my right, at the end of the isle of old wooden folding chairs, and there they sat.<br />
They were like oak trees, or a sundial, always there, never moving, something you can count on, tell the time by, trustworthy, safe and anchoring. They always sat there, three rows from the front, right on the middle isle. Him in a smart grey suit, her in her Sunday dress with red and white LLBean bag in tow. The Grandparents of the church, Dr and Mrs Sanctuary, they were quiet, austere, and warm. they loved us all as if we were their own grandchildren. He was an elder and respected Doctor, and she was a go-to for advice on pretty much anything from parenting to recipes, to time proven home remedies for any sickness under the sun.<br />
They opened their old stately home frequently, to everyone and anyone. We were allowed to meet there on Fridays as a homeschool co-op group. Our favorite time of the week was here, atop a hill overlooking our tiny town of Walpole New Hampshire, surrounded by miles and miles of farmland generations old. Lunch was had at their giant farm table in the gracious dining room that time never touched. Movie days were had in the cozy living room, children sprawled all over the antique furniture, pillows on the ancient rugs on the floor, all crowded around an aged Television, watching movies like, Charlotte's web, and Anne of Green Gables. English lessons were had in the sunroom, with giant windows looking over the hundred year old back yard filled with wildflowers and lilacs planted ages ago. The room was filled with houseplants and charming knick knacks, perfect for distracted children to study and wonder about their histories. We even had a special session on manners, where boys were taught how to be gentlemen, and girls how to act ladylike. We practiced proper phone etiquette on a black, old fashioned phone, straight out of a Jimmy Stewart movie. Private reading lessons were had in the kitchen, with Grandma Sanctuary. I would sit at the tiny table in the corner and read, while she cooked on the giant cast iron stove, washed dishes in the big farm sink, or sat with me and worked on her sewing.<br />
When i think back on these days, and these people, i think about how generous they were with time, and life, and things. I don't remember ever being scolded for feet on a faded antique chase, or spilling milk on ornate rugs, or even for chasing chickens in the old barn. They were patient, and loving and giving.<br />
Recently the news spread that the dear old Doctor passed away, how very sad. He was so kind to noisy children. So patient with giggly girls. They took in single women who acted as teachers and helpers to the moms in our co-op. They acted as parents to these young women, and let them treat the generational home as their own for as long as they lived there, even giving one the place to use for her reception after her wedding. The other teacher, Miss Sheridan, (now Mrs Beaver), she would sometimes have Sleep overs with a few of us lucky girls. We would get to roam the old house in the night hours, and stayed up all hours telling ghost stories. We would pounce around during the early morning hours, laughing and playing, and talking the doctors ear off while he listened, and laughed and somehow still managed to prepare his teachings for Sunday morning.<br />
The hymn we sang in church this past Sunday brought me back to those glorious childhood days. I could see them standing there, singing this very hymn. No music, no grand light-show, just a dusty town hall basement, with a small collection of locals, singing the words with heartfelt emotion and faith. These were my glory days, the days I look back on and thank God for. They structured who I am, who I have become and who I have the potential to be. Many people in this time gave me so many things, lessons, love, friendship, examples, and faith. These two though, they were truly like Grandparents to me. Mine were far away, and in a time of no cell phones, or facebook, or facetime, it was hard to not have them near. It was fun to watch this couple, married for so long, so grounded in faith in God, so happy to be who they were, where they were, so content with their lives, and so ready to share and give with all.<br />
These are the lessons I choose to keep, to continue to follow. THAT is how I want to be. I want to grow up, and more in love with my husband, to love my kids, and grandkids, and love other people's kids, and be that couple someday, that grandparent couple to some child who misses their own, who can feel safe, and loved and special. Isn't that an amazing legacy?<br />
Even now, so many miles away, so many years have passed since I have even seen or spoken with them, I miss the Doctor, I ache for the hole left in Mrs Sanctuary's life by the passing of her lifelong partner. I am so very grateful for them in my life. Thanks to you both, for the impression you have so lovingly pressed into my life. I am a better person for knowing you both!<br />
This past Sunday, i couldn't find my voice to sing, but I smiled, and listened intently, and thought, yes, yes it is well, it is well with my soul.<br />
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S.E.D. 1-9-2015YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-63587873327498192802014-10-20T10:13:00.002-04:002014-10-20T10:13:17.496-04:00Why I Run<div style="text-align: center;">
I never wanted to run, </div>
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I never liked to run, </div>
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I never felt a need to run</div>
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Some of my worst night sweats are induced by dreams of not reaching a goal, or getting out of a situation, or not being able to save someone, due to an inability to run.</div>
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Running has never been important, or noteworthy, or even contemplated. I actually wanted to run from the very idea of it (puny i know)</div>
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Now, I love to run, I itch to run, I ache from not running</div>
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I crave the rush, the sore feet, and the flushed face.</div>
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I crave the quiet, of the crisp air passing by my headphones. The rhythmic clap of my sneakers on the pavement while Bono and Adam Levine Sing me to the next mile.</div>
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Sometimes i wonder when the change happened. How is it possible that this is now my go-to stress relief? How in the world did we get to a point where I, Sara Doenges, choose a run over a date with Jillian Michaels' Shred video? </div>
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I figured it out. When I was young, living in Rural New England, my sports were Biking in the summer, and skating in the winter. Both involved speed, a steady breeze, and the rush. My face feeling flushed with heat, from the cold, the wind, and the work of keeping up that pace. The better i got at skating, the better I wanted to get. The more tricks I could master, to more I wanted to learn. The faster I could go on my bike, the longer I wanted to go. The higher hills I could climb meant more speed races down them. </div>
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I have always loved speed, and adrenaline, and the RUSH. </div>
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These days, in Ohio, Ice skating is sorta hard to find, especially on a regular basis. Biking is good, but so flat, and not very scenic, and too many cars. So, what is one to do?</div>
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I run, I started running to train for one race. To get myself out of a rut of depression. It worked, all science tells us that exercise makes so many things better, including the brain, it also boosts your mood, medically, and mentally. So i trained. </div>
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I signed up for a half marathon, and ran 9.5 miles of it until my knee gave out. </div>
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It was the biggest rush! Bigger then the Tough mudder, since I was running it mostly alone, and running, really running most of it. It was a personal thing, me and the road. </div>
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I had my Bestie in the race with me, but she was doing her personal thing, at her pace.</div>
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This is what I love about running, you do it together, but it's still your thing, and everyone knows it. There is no judgment, there is only support, and applause, and pride in every mile conquered, every time shaved off.</div>
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I have recovered from my knee injury, and from a broken foot. I now am getting back into it. SLOWLY</div>
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I love the rush. The flushed face, the feeling that I told myself to keep going, and i did. </div>
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Now, I want to run, </div>
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I LOVE to run. </div>
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Every mile I get past, makes me crave the next one. </div>
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Every time I put up is one step to the next Personal Best.</div>
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I may not LOOK like a runner should look, I don't keep a pace like you would imagine a runner keeping, but it doesn't matter, because </div>
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I DO RUN, </div>
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My Pace, My Race, </div>
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I am running and I am loving it.</div>
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Sara Doenges </div>
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Oct 20 2014 </div>
YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-56265941023876539672014-09-30T12:58:00.004-04:002014-09-30T12:58:41.690-04:00Bare-feet at Twilight .... leave footprints in the dew.<div class="clearfix" style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; zoom: 1;">
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 20px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 20px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 20px;">Once in a while, a child is conceived who is so frail, and innocent, and heavenly perfect, God cannot let it be exposed to the evil of this world.</span></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> It is in these precious, tiny miracles that we see glimpses of heaven. It is in these dark, soul searching times of grief, that we taste God's mercy. In the veil of tears, as we ask the "why", we know, this child will be loved, sitting atop the very lap of God. Our questions turn from, "Why this pain?" to, "Why does He love us so much that He would give us this glimpse of Heaven?" "Why does He even care about my soul?"</span></b></div>
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<b> He is the giver, He is the time keeper, He is the great Physician.</b></div>
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<b> With these facts in place, we can gaze into the still face of this child, whom we wanted so badly, we weep, and we can say..</b></div>
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<b>"Thank you for this moment"</b></div>
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<b>(SED) </b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">***This was written from a real place of pain, from a moment in time that took me many years to come to terms with, a time that, to be perfectly honest, I don't fully understand still. It was also written in a moment of great faith. I do not in any way claim to have this kind of faith on a regular basis. I am human, and grow more skeptical the older I get, and the more of Life that i see. I think this little nugget of writing I found in a notebook today shows what I am capable of. What faith can do for one's soul. I know I have many friends and family who KNOW the type of moment this prose was written about, and so I share it. To possibly help, or heal, or just maybe give another perspective. ***</span></b></blockquote>
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YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-56569252597904513512014-08-12T11:47:00.000-04:002014-08-12T11:47:42.297-04:00"..don't get too close, It's dark inside.." Last night, as i laid in bed, I looked up into the sky, and saw a single twinkling star. I immediately thought of Peter Pan, probably because I'm still reeling from the death of one of my favorite actors, but honestly, every time I stop long enough to actually LOOK at a star, the first thing i think is, "second star to the right.." in his voice.<br />
I am sad, so terribly sad that he is gone, his genius, his light, his honesty. I will work hard to be sure my kids see his work, and hear his messages in his movies. I want my kids to be able to laugh at themselves, Robin Williams taught me how to do that, I hope I can teach them as well.<br />
The part that makes me the saddest, is that he was in pain. This disease he battled, of depression, it is an evil bitch. It chews up it's victims, and it is so very hard to get out unscathed.<br />
Two comments on Facebook made me think long and hard, and I just wanted to say some words, from my own experience.<br />
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The first was, "Why do the truly brilliant ones have so many demons?"<br />
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the second was, something about how this death should bring to light the number of "ordinary or, un-famous people who battle the same thing every day, and end the same way, and lets try to help.<br />
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I was thinking about the first one alot. I have dealt with depression most of my life. I didn't know what it was in my childhood, it didn't stem from some terrible home life, or tragic events, or any of that. This is probably why it took so long for me to realize WHAT I was dealing with. I have demons. I call them voices, a very good friend said maybe I should find another word so i don't sound quite so nutty. I suppose you could call it an inner dialogue. It is constant, it is loud, sometimes its quiet, but always there, always questioning me, and telling me every thing i did wrong, or could have done better. It sits and waits with baited breath while people say nice things, and shoots them down, like darts to balloons. it's painful, and exhausting, and some days, it wins. Actually, it wins alot.<br />
I wonder, if the reason people who are so talented at humor, or acting, or imagining, do it because their brain is already on overdrive. It already goes to places you cant imagine. Deep, dark, sad places that "normal people" can't even fathom going to. Its a coping mechanism, it's almost necessary, to create other worlds, other ways of seeing things. Our brain is different, we need to laugh, we need to go somewhere that isn't real. Reality sucks, and our brains are quite adept at shooting down every good thing that exists, but if we create other worlds, by reading Gone with the wind, the hobbit, CS Lewis, Tom Clancy, Hunger Games, these are all epic worlds we can hide in. Neverland, disney, Jumamji, mary poppins, anne of green gables, little women. All places I have spent much time lost in. Us everyday people just watch and get lost in it. I can't imagine the joy of creating these kinds of places, or being part of bringing them to life for other people. Almost like a clean slate, here is a life you can live for a little while, and you are free, for that time, of the demons, you are free to use your brain in new ways, until it's over, then you are back in the real world, where the voices are waiting to tell you how lame that whole thing was, and how no one will probably even like it, or see it, and don't get your hopes up, it'll flop. I'm pretty sure that was a constant thread in this Actors mind. It's so sad isn't it? All the lovely memories we have of his life. All the characters we love, the things we saw him do with the troops, and St judes, and Sesame Street! He just couldn't really grasp the love, or respect, or gratitude, the voices sucked it all away.<br />
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Which, brings us to the second comment. It's true, so many people suffer from depression, or some form of mental disorder. It really is a disease, it really does cripple it's victims. I know, I've dealt with it. Ive had some pretty low points in my life, made lower, and deeper and so much more painful by this disease. It makes it harder to climb out. The social stigma is damning, the way people react is painful sometimes, we have so much pain inside already, reaching out to us just seems like way to much work, much too risky, no need to cause myself more pain if I get rejected. We can feel rejected by people who don't even know what we are going through. Many times, its a case of "Its not you, it's me".<br />
I think people need to spend more time listening, and less time judging. Less time talking about the things the people do to cope, and more time asking how they can help. Less time feeling sad, more laughing. If Robin Williams did one thing well, it was making us laugh. Yes it was a coping mechanism, yes it stemmed from insecurity, but it was a gift, even if he didn't know it. let's laugh more. I like laughing, i like to get people laughing, it is a good thing.<br />
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I don't know how much sense this makes to anyone, my demons just told me to erase the whole thing and go back to bed with an advil cuz I'm a crazy chick with nothing to say. Such downers those guys are, geeez!<br />
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R.I.P Robin William, and thanks :) " .... second start to the right, and straight on till morning..."YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-33210144321421336572014-06-07T19:15:00.001-04:002014-06-07T19:15:58.606-04:00Bitches and hoo.........oooh wait sorrySorry if that offends you, you should probably leave now then. <div><br></div><div>I'm tired, tired of "mom battles" of grown up high schoolers , of cliques, of ignorance. It exhausts me. None of it has a place in a well balanced, meaningful, grown up life. </div><div><br></div><div>I am not saying I'm old. I'm the youngest nearly 40 yr old person I know. But I'm an adult, I have real shit to deal with, I am terribly sorry if my schedule doesn't give you time to add chaos and more crazy to my life. </div><div><br></div><div>Seriously. Yes, I am being slightly obtuse, but blatant at the same time. I'm me, I was taught by a southern gentleman to be polite but for the love of all that is right, DO NOT be a door mat to other peoples stupidity. </div><div><br></div><div>So anyway. I deal with this waaaaay too often now that I live in suburbia, and have relationships with sports parents and school people and it's exhausting. </div><div><br></div><div>I said all that to say, </div><div><br></div><div>Dude. I'm exhausted. </div>YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-61979038208212574582014-02-07T14:02:00.002-05:002014-02-07T14:02:36.374-05:00Not feelin' the Love here people .... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Can we just talk about Valentines? Seriously, UGH! The whole process looses it's charm when they are so stinkin expensive, and you can't make them for much cheaper, even if you kids were ok with being the ONE kid in the classroom with no pop character or candy, or tattoo, or sticker on theirs.<br />
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You have to have one card for each kid in class, because we live in the age of, 'life isn't fair so we will bend over backwards to make sure you never know that until it's too late", and to be sure you don't miss anyone, you get a class list sent home to you at the beginning of the month. THANK YOU teachers! They obviously know their students, and that poor mom CANNOT rely on the child's memory to get every name in the room, and spelling, well, these days, that's a whole other post.<br />
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Ok, buying, now we know how many, lets shop! I shop alone, no kids, my son is now 10, in 3rd grade, and thats how long it took me to get that part right. Yes, the idea of letting them pick their own is lovely, yes, they should show their own identity, but, that's all out the window when they get to the store and want the newest ones, the 3D ones with bracelets and stickers and flashing noses, and i thought i saw some that came with new cars ..(okay maybe im exaggerating, but not by much! ) These NEW ones, are 6$ or more a box, and they only have 10 cards, and your son has 32 kids, plus 2 teachers, so now, you have to spend, 18$ on his, then the same on hers, because, it's not fair if he has flashy ones, and she doesn't! RIGHT!? Right, I know, I'm smart, I go alone.<br />
<br />
Now, if it was me, I would buy the cheapest, most run of the mill box with the most cards in it, however, I do have a small amount of sympathy for my kids, and peer pressure, and we are not poor, we can spend a little money, but a LITTLE, just a LITTLE! Now to balance, not feeling like the kid handing out dumb cards, and not wasting money on characters and dumb tattoos that fall off anyway, HATE those things!<br />
<br />
Oh! Can we also talk about choices?! Boys get, star wars, legos, star wars legos, angry birds, starwars angry birds, marvel comics, cars, planes, turbo, spider man, batman, solar systems, dinos, on and on and on. girls get, Dora, Disney princess, hello kitty and dogs and cats. That's it. My daughter would give out angry birds if they had some of the girly birds and pigs in there. My son might even hand out dog cards if they weren't TOO cute. I mean seriously people, talk about boxing girls in. geez!<br />
<br />
These are just boxes, with cards in them, never mind the other half of the isle, full of snack packs, and candy packs and lollipops and gummies, all made to be able to write on the package and give as a valentine. These I can get behind, IF they weren't SO expensive! Also, back to stereotypes, my son can have spiderman or batman or angry birds, in boxes of 36, awesome, however, all I can get for her is disney princess, or if I want to pay 3x as much, I can do 3 boxes of the Hello Kitty candy. Um, NO!<br />
<br />
I ended up with two boxes of Lifesaver candies, one is pops, one is big gummies. They will split the loot, therefore, having the same types of valentines, ones that are yummy, and edible, and no one has to save, and I spent 6$, but not after this entire rant, plus much much more, expletives, and mumblings, and much less cohesive thoughts running through my head. It was NOT a fun time.<br />
<br />
Oh, one more thing, I looked up "80's valentines" on google, and found that picture, and I am fairly certain i handed those out one year! trippy.<br />
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Happy Valentines Day ....HA! :PYubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-4969023287225425652013-11-18T15:36:00.001-05:002013-11-18T15:36:44.421-05:00Bloodcurdling screams have nothing on "I'm huuuuuungry" from a ten year old boy.My son is 10 now, and hungry, endlessly hungry. This is made evident by the way he continuously chatters on and on about how he is starving, how that last snack, that 5th one, it wasn't quite enough, and its only 5pm, how long must we wait for dinner!?!?<br />
Today i went on my bi-weekly "big shop" and tried in vain to stop this abuse my child is suffering under (yes, that was a joke, it's a first world problem, I am aware, relax people ... finish you chai tea)<br />
I walk through the store filling my cart to the brim, thinking, people must think I have a gaggle of munchkins at home, not two pre teens ..... (whoa ... pre-what's?! *pauses for coffee*)<br />
Thankfully, I shop at Aldi, if you have one, USE IT! If not, i'm sorry, it really IS a lifesaver! The other saving grace is my son's aversion to high sugar content, Food Dye. Oh don't get me wrong, HE LOVES it, his body, however, is not overly fond of it. His attention span is reduced to that of a .......wait what was I saying?....oh, food dye! Right, yes and his energy is through the roof! Which either one alone, is cool, high energy put into homework or chores would be wicked awesome, and the lack or attention span would serve me well around 5pm, when he would like to ask REALLY deep questions, tell super long, detailed stories, or like, when he is STAAAAARRRRVING, and can't think of anything else to talk about!<br />
The low prices save the wallet, and the built in aversion helps me not fall prey to picking up any old snack food, I actually have to put thought into it. If you put a little thought into, then you get better through, like, hearty snacks over fluffy ones, and no, don't buy THAT sweet for their lunches, because you like that one yourself, and will inevitably end up eating a box of them yourself (peanut butter chocolate wafer thingys anyone? OI! They kill me! )<br />
My daughter is tiny, a little tiny 8yr old who seems to be getting taller, still no waist, or need for protein, or peanut butter, or more then one snack or two a day, and those being normal child sizes. She makes up for the ease in other ways though, no worries! I didn't get an easy pass, she is 13 emotionally *coffee break #2*<br />
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so, there is the stash, we will see if this takes care of breakfast, lunch and snacks for two weeks, if not, .....well lets just hope :P </div>
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<br />YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-42775525501175763992013-08-17T22:05:00.000-04:002013-08-17T22:05:11.661-04:00Glitter, High Vee's, Bows and cheers....... <span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pardon me for being redundant ...... but ...... remember this?!?!?!</span><br />
<a href="http://hagriddapig.blogspot.com/2011/11/whos-life-did-i-wake-up-in.html">Say Wha Princess??</a><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeeeeah, well, we are entering our second year of football / cheer. Thankfully my son is LOVING football, He wants to be Clay Matthews ..... hey, you gotta have a dream right? </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our team is back, and getting better and ready to take on the year with new energy.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aaaaaand, cheer ..... Samantha is cheering for the State Champs! The Undefeated WOJFC Bantam Champs of 2012. Ya, pretty amazing year last year! Somehow we were cut short on practices this year, and somehow, I .... me.... mommy...Yubby ..... am helping my daughter to learn her routine for Halftime. Yes, you read that correctly, it means what you think it means ...... I am actually DOING the routine, and naming the moves, High Vee, Broken Tee, shimmy shimmy, low Vee. yup, I'm doing that.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am also painting my toe nails in the car, so I don't show up with the wrong color on my feet, I am gluing glittery letters on her bucket so it looks fresh and cheery, Doing her hair perfectly. setting the bow high and perky, and ...... it feels normal. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so, yeah, I'm loving being a warrior football family, and embracing the cheer world, just enough to appreciate the warm fuzzy, sparkly, glittery, feeling it gives you ...... ok, well almost. ;) </span>YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-66256694040242227682013-08-16T16:37:00.002-04:002013-08-16T16:37:21.576-04:0024hrs of ODD......so, I have to make this quick, because, I have to go to football practice soon, which is really another entry all together, oh wait I think i already wrote that one ....<br />
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It's been an odd 24 hours, it started last night when i walked downstairs, and found my children ......<br />
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wait for it ....<br />
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sweeping the floor!<br />
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TOGETHER!<br />
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o.0<br />
I actually called up to the hubs to double check the time and date, you know, in case I had somehow gotten zapped into an alternative universe or something ......... i still don't know WHY they were, i just smiled, said "WOW! Thanks!" and walked back up stairs ..... secretly wondering/ hoping that the dishes were next, hahah I so funny.<br />
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Today ends my odd 24 hrs with the discovery of a heart shaped box of beads .....(probably stuffed away in my closet to get it away from a small toddler who would have tried to make "pretties" but would have only succeeding in giving mommy a reason to vacuum the bedrooms AGAIN. ) ...what's funny is that said toddler is now 8 .... sooo ... moving on, the box was upsidedown, on the floor of my closet, and in shoes, and a purse, and rolling into the bathroom. Seems the hubs had a run in with the "pretties" and .... still haven't figured who won that.<br />
<br />
I start to pick them up, and a thought happens ...... "She doesn't know these exist! Why tell her? She now has many many sets of beads, and doesn't need another." insert Vacuum ..... then wow, hmm i should do the bathroom floor too, oh, man, bathroom, nasty, should clean that.<br />
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Later, as I'm putting away the dishes, AGAIIN, i open the pantry .....DUN DUN DUN!!!! Tupperware waterfall............<br />
<br />
Yes pantry....well tupperware section anyway, now organized.<br />
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Laundry still in mountainous state, and mommy not quite showered yet, but these things are so rare in my life, Children cleaning on their own inspiration, clean bathroom, organized tupperware ......... don't look at dirty me.....look at the clean places! It's happy.<br />
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Off to make chicken nuggets, for boy, then to practice, (reminds self to bring needle and thread and cheer uniform so it can get it altered to fit midget daughter for tomorrow's game) .........<br />
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Oh TGIF everyone!YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-2544834885031321072013-08-08T09:39:00.004-04:002014-10-02T21:08:39.052-04:00FOOTBALL FALL<div class="clearfix" style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px; zoom: 1;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A little ditty I wrote last year, as we begin a new year, I have chills thinking about the fun ahead of us :)</span><br>
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<span style="color: #4c1130;">Football Fall</span></h2>
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October 21, 2012 at 4:26pm<span class="timelineUnitContainer" style="position: relative;"><div class="uiSelector inlineBlock audienceSelector timelineAudienceSelector audienceSelectorNoTruncate dynamicIconSelector uiSelectorNormal uiSelectorDynamicTooltip" style="display: inline-block; margin-left: 1px; margin-top: -3px; max-width: 200px; vertical-align: top; zoom: 1;">
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">It's still a little too dark, and a little too early for being awake on a sunday morning. Uniforms are hanging, freshly laundered Maroon and Black with crisp white numbers and sparkling silver trim, there are pads and cleats, and cheer sneakers to lace up. Water jugs to fill, breakfast to grab and go, a truck to warm up and Caffeine to locate. A quick drive across town as the sky lights up, as we park the truck and see other families starting to arrive and file in we can feel it, the air, it is tingling not from the cold, but with excitement for the day.We make our way across the cold hard Tarmac of the local High school. Bundled up in our team colors, lugging pads, helmet, cheer bucket, blankets and of course hot, steaming coffee from the local gas station.</span></span><br>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We walk up to the gate with our uniformed minions and get a "good luck Warriors" as we pay for the adults and make our way to the cold bleachers. The grass is dewy as the Fall frost melts quickly in the bright November sunshine slowly spreading across the sky. We pass the snack shack, being run by a host of parents from another warrior team. They shout "Good luck Warriors!" to the kids as we pass, as I feel the warmth from the grill and the ovens in the snack shack, i catch a whiff of cheeseburgers and funnel cakes making me wish I had grabbed more breakfast.</span></div>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"> Picking a spot on the bleachers, drying them off from the melted frost, saving room for friends, and making sure my kids land where they are needed is my weekly routine. The youngest cheers for the first team to play, the undefeated Bantam team, and my son plays for the 3rd grade team that plays after them. She goes to warm up with her squad, he goes in search of friends/teammates to throw the ball with until his coach shows up and starts their practice. It's a well oiled machine this youth Football program. Saturday and Sunday is a relentless parade of youth teams from Bantam up to 6th grade, all day long, a team and a cheer squad start, the other team practices ..then the next squad shows up and waits in the wings. The team that just finished goes back on the field to welcome the next onto the field Warrior greeting Warrior, everywhere we go, it's a Lebanon thing, I don't see every team do it, you can feel the loyalty in such little minds and bodies, it's a pretty cool thing to witness. </span></span><br>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As the bleachers begin to fill with parents, we nod, say good morning, a hug or two here and there maybe, we drink our coffee, and rub our hands and wait. The anthem plays, and it's a perfect still frame of the day. Everything stops, the snack shack, the gate, the parking lot buzzing with people, it's all eerily silent. Nobody moves, or speaks, it is a fiercely patriotic town we live in, and you stand, with your hand over your heart, and you look at the flag, and clap at the end. The teams are lined up on either end of the field with their coaches, the cheerleaders, the banner, it's all still. Even my son and his rowdy friends, are still, for once. It makes me proud, to be here, to be an American, in the midwest, in Youth football. It is one of my favorite moments. Until of course, they start calling the names, of our kids, my peanut sized cheerleader who you almost cant see from the stands except for her shimmering pompoms. The names of my son's team, his friends, sons of people I have met, and of course, MY player, who was so excited they got his name right this week!</span></span><br>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> During the games we watch, we cheer, we high five each other, we pat each other on the back when someone's kid gets his name called for a tackle, or a TD. We yell at the refs, nicely, we cheer, and clap, give thumbs up, and tell our boys to have fun. Afterwards, no matter what, the team is gathered around their coaches, and the parents gather around them, and we pat them on the back. We tell them how proud we are, how well they did, and if they lost, they know it, so we tell them now they have to try harder, and we know they can do it. Win or no win, we love our boys, and our cheerleaders! The two teams I am proud to be part of are two groups of classy, kind, decent people. Their kids reflect that, and it makes loosing easier, it makes winning sweeter.</span></div>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"> Football has always been a huge part of my life, from my Dad who tried out for the NE Patriots, my brother who played in Highschool, my whole family watching every sunday, us kids playing pick up games year round as far back as I remember. I have always been a fan, but being a football Parent at a home game, is a whole new level. It's a feeling you will never 'get' until you have been there. My daughter loves to cheer, and my son loves football, and they are good at it, these are the times I don't worry about what kind of car I drive, or whether I get a new purse this year, or even Starbucks regularly. If this is what makes my kids happy, we will spend the money, we will give it the time, the weekends, deep into fall and cold to sit through the Post-Season. We will give it our weeknights for practices next to cold, cleared corn fields and under bright lights in the dark fall nights. This is Football life, and we LOVE it! Go WARRIORS!! </span></span><br>
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Sara Doenges <a href="tel:10-21-1012" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="telephone" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">10-21-1012</a></div>
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YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-79985393650855057392013-03-07T10:27:00.000-05:002013-03-07T10:27:00.975-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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March!</div>
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Today I am sitting still. In anticipation of a very busy few weeks ahead. Tomorrow I officially throw my hat in for the Vermont Tough Mudder on Mt. Snow August 10th. Hubs and I will run it together, with a bunch of other siblings and friends. I am SUPER excited to do it one more time. Pretty sure I will be done with them after this, but who knows, I may get the urge again one day. </div>
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March 11th, my Dad goes into surgery for double knee replacement. It sounds so scary! I am really excited though, I know he will heal fast, and to see him mobile again will be awesome! it's hard to see someone so active so inhibited by pain. </div>
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Also, hubs will undergo Chemo. it's scary, but it's the last step to be sure it's all gone. He was diagnosed with testicular cancer in early Dec. He had surgery, had the tumor removed, and all his scans and tests come back free and clear. This last step is just to make sure nothing comes back. It's the best option, so here we go. I am always up for new challenges! </div>
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I started watching LOST with some dear friends, and then they moved! LOL NOT cool man! i seriously connected with this girl, and her hubs and my hubs are two very geeky peas in a very geeky pod! It's so nice to meet people who you connect with so well, so fast, it doesn't happen often, and I am so glad we all met! Now we have to plan trip to northern Ohio more often, :) I do love to travel :)</div>
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We started up our radio show again, only have two shows recorded, but it feels so good to be "on air" again, even if it's just on the internet.</div>
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Not much more to tell, I'm a gym rat now, thanks to my new friend who moved, she left me with her membership through to June, which is rather helpful with the whole Tough Mudder thing fastly approaching! </div>
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I have been trying to post on here but feel a lack of inspiration, maybe now that my buddy is gone, I'll have more time on my hands :D </div>
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Happy St. Patty day to everyone! </div>
<br />YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-3841261477873062772012-12-11T09:34:00.003-05:002012-12-11T09:34:21.816-05:00Soon it will be Christmas day..... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In reading my past posts, i am so sad to see how old my kids have gotten!<br />
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On a lighter note, Twelve days of Christmas by john Denver and the Muppets is playing as i type :)<br />
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Christmas is coming, winter is commin'. Our life has taken a startling turn, it simplified my Christmas to-do list significantly which is good, because i always try to do too much to make the Holiday super special and different every year. It's funny how easy it is to not worry so much about a dead string of lights, or how soon i get presents, or how many cookies i make. Just to sit, and look at the advent calendar listen to the kids talk about what Santa is bringing, have cocoa with the first snow, and remember what is really important.<br />
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My daughter is set on getting an Easy Bake oven, it's all she talks about, i asked yesterday, "what if you don't get it?"<br />
she looked at me like I just stabbed her stuffed animal ... eek ... then this morning she is sitting quietly on the stairs as I'm rushing Grant out to the bus, she says ..."Mommy, do you really think Santa wouldn't give me the Easy Bake oven? I just don't know what I would do, it would be very very hard to be happy."<br />
o.0<br />
Don't hurt yourself kid, I am pretty sure Santa has your back, but scheech, the older they get, they actually care about what is coming. I'm thinking all this as my son is ambushing us with his dart gun, that only has one dart currently, and wondering, what my coffee walk will be like next month, as I'm pummeled with rapid fire Nerf Discs, (I'm pretty sure Santa got THAT request too ) and I'm thinking maybe Santa needs to remember what it's like to have kids around, we wouldn't be subjected to such things ..... I think. maybe ...<br />
So, yeah, Christmas this year is going to be simpler, and smaller, and nice and full of family, and friends. The good stuff. :)<br />
<br />YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-19692420726890085482012-09-12T09:02:00.000-04:002012-09-12T09:02:42.520-04:00Soo ... remember this? ...<a href="http://hagriddapig.blogspot.com/2011/11/whos-life-did-i-wake-up-in.html">http://hagriddapig.blogspot.com/2011/11/whos-life-did-i-wake-up-in.html</a> ?<br />
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Well, here we are in the middle of football season and I have a son playing, and a daughter cheering. Yup, me, Yubby, or Zubby ( my tiniest nieces new version of my name) I am a cheer mom. I even have two shirts that say so. My kids are LOVING it, my siblings are loving it, me being a cheer mom that it. Brats :P<br />
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that's my mantle, my kiddos, aren't they cute? I have been pushed out of my comfort zone, and reside there comfortably :)YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-82081699983100206342012-09-11T11:02:00.001-04:002012-11-16T07:56:47.200-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today, as every year, we remember, and I don't even pretend anymore, I don't even try to shake the feeling, like shaking the dust off of you if you had been there. Even the dust itself is sacred. This past year I was at Ground Zero for the first time, and I am glad I saw it this way. I remember in my early 20's I visited the very spot with a group of my co-workers from a camp in northern NH. We had driven through the night to visit one girls family outside NYC, and to spend our Saturday off in the city, walking. We were poor Camp workers, not enough money to take a cab, or eat at a nice place, or even sight-see like some might. But, we had good walking shoes, time to kill, youth, and a spirit of adventure, so we walked the city, ate from food carts, one Chinese place, and even took pictures with the NYPD. We saw the towers, how big they were, and marveled at their presence, we came into the subway station under them, never imagining someday, they would be decimated. This year was the first time I had been there since, it is erie, and quiet, and peaceful, and sad all at once. It is an oasis if solitude and a fitting memorial in the middle of a city that doesn't sleep.<br />
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The feelings, sights and thoughts of that day are etched in my mind, like the names on the reflecting pools, and the benches at the pentagon, and in a field in Rural Pennsylvania. 11 years later, not one bit diminished, not one bit. God Bless the U.S.A.<br />
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YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-582541307254878712012-05-08T10:45:00.001-04:002012-05-08T10:45:52.704-04:00a peek inside the genius....<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">internal Dialog while picking up after the morning pre-bus chaos...... </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">"Where the heck is the cap to the Milk? Who on earth looses that kind of thing?"</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">.....</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">"Oh, yeah ...that would be me ..."</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">....</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;" /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">"wait ...... why haven't I lost one before?! That's sort of amazing ...."<br />...<br />"Yay me for never loosing a milk jug cap till now!"<br />....<br />-.-<br />welcome to my brain .....</span>YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-27594914037461831142012-05-07T15:19:00.001-04:002012-05-07T15:19:41.009-04:00MinionsA rare look at them sharing oxygen in a friendly manner....<br />
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and then they once again proved they are indeed of my flesh and blood. :D </div>
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<br />YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-78651346917279004392012-05-07T15:16:00.001-04:002012-05-07T15:16:14.666-04:00Confucius has nothing on the minions ......Sometimes ........ everyone once in a while ... I wonder, how do they go from peppering me with questions 24-7 like I'm the encyclopedia Britannica ...... ( which I believe is now obsolete..) and then the minute I tell them a fact, or issue and order .... they question my very existence, and start talking down to me like I'm a teenager that just shoplifted.<br />
Why is it that the mornings I'm hopping out of bed ..... ( ok I NEVER HOP...but me chipper pre-10am, IS hopping ) I'm singing them out of bed, and they can't be woken even with the promise of ice cream for breakfast ...( no, we don't eat ice cream for breakfast..) I am ready to make Pancakes and muffins and bacon, and they can't even make it to the table in time to eat a bite of anything, not that they are hungry anyway. Then the days I'm barely alive and kicking, they are up, out of bed, in outfits that don't match and are inside out, inside down and backwards. Not to mention very weather inappropriate, and these are the ONLY clothes they can be convinced to wear. And they are HUNGRY, and I have nothing but oatmeal, and only enough to make a normal kid sized serving. These are the mornings we have that one sheet of homework left, that's due that day. These are the days that Sam's hair will have toothpaste in it .... from LAST NIGHT. Grant will cut his leg while putting the dog out on the run ...and I will be out of coffee.<br />
Why do they want nothing but bikes and baseball when it's pouring rain and cold, but then when it's 80 and sunny and perfect, they want TV and DS.<br />
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Why is it that when my floor is clean, dishes done, house vacuumed, and no where to go, I can't focus on a single thing to do .... besides laundry. I think it's gonna take a while to get myself out of ..... the "baby years" mode of house-working, maybe i should get some coffee and think about a solution for that ... hmm .... yeah.<br />
<br />YubbyDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490088981929375991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27829115.post-85268603214811319132012-05-04T15:39:00.001-04:002012-05-04T15:39:22.446-04:00Sometimes I wonder about the things My mom overheard ....overheard this week .... Grant and his buddy .... <div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grant ... "Mom, I need one of those strength bracelets, you know, Like Uncle Dominic has."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Barrett ... "Special? How? Does it give you powers? Super strength? I want one!"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grant ...."Well, no, it doesn't GIVE you powers, it's just what they say so you buy them, it does look cool though .... and looking cool makes you cool, and strong, and gives you powers."</span></div>
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**editor's note** o.0 .... that's either very deep, or very worrisome ..... or both?</div>
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